"Sulfathiazole was for the clap--with lots of water recommended."

-The World According to Garp, John Irving

[2:44 pm at DHMC] As I sit in this one-sie couch in the sun,  I am thinking about my meeting with Dr. Bartlett. It was amazing to go over the concepts and finally feel the distinction between frustration and understanding. I feel like the previous quizzes have mostly been determined by the inability to read and understand what was being asked of me. Going through the concepts of ventilation and perfusion, I explained things back and heard, "That is exactly right."  as a response. I feel more hopeful. Listening to Don McLean's American Pie is also quite appropriate... it's upbeat and somehow optimistic; I am feeling that way.

If you ever feel doubtful, just repeat this:

I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok.
I can, I can, I can.

You will find that it isn't so hard to believe.

[a few hours later at home] Today I learned some physio and then went late to a talk at the AVA in Lebanon about screening and racial disparities. It was interesting to hear about the discussion between efficiency and equality. Julia, Devang and I stuck around to attend Dr. Koop's art gallery exhibit with all the comics written ABOUT HIM when he was surgeon general. IT WAS SO COOL. Currently, I'm baking pumpkin bread - I can't seem to focus.

What I'm feeling now is expressed perfectly by Chris Martin:

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
  ---
"For syphilis, in the days before penicillin, they used neoarsphenamine; Jenny Field thought that this was the epitome of all that sex could lead to--to introduce arsenic into the human chemistry, to try to clean the chemistry up."