"If you'd know when a bathroom was clean," she went over and peered in his wastebasket, "or when a wastebasket was empty," she said. "A book feels true when it feels true," she said to him, impatiently. pp 325
"Tolerance of the intolerance is a difficult task that the times ask of us..." pp 386
"...don't worry - so what if there is no life after death? There is life after Garp, believe me. Even if there is only death after death (after death), be grateful for small favors - sometimes there is birth after sex, for example." pp 413
"Life," Garp wrote, "is sadly not structured like a good old-fashioned novel. Instead an end occurs when those who are meant to peter out have petered out. All that is left is memory. But even a nihilist has memory." pp 418
"Your father was a difficult fellow; he never gave an inch - but that's the point: he was always following his nose; whenever it took him, it was always his nose." pp 424
"But in the world according to Garp, we are all terminal cases." pp 437
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
A Henry Robbins Book
EP Dutton, New York
1978
---
These were some of the quotes that struck me. I finally finished the novel today. I feel like I gained and lost something at the same time.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
"a life lived in fear is a life half-lived."
-in the bathroom of asian pub, cooper square
there is something about passing a moment with a beautiful stranger that even makes waiting for a bus an hour late worth it. i bumped into mike on the line to ny port authority at 10 am but the bus did not appear until 11 am. we met someone new who had a connection to both mike and me. we will probably never meet again, but it was a lovely fleeting moment. there were so many times we were prematurely relieved that buses arrived, but they were heading to points north, west and south... to newark, lakewood and atlantic city. finally, one did come to take us to our destination. once we boarded, i nestled into my seat and continued reading the world according to garp. i winced; i gasped; i laughed.
we were stuck in traffic for three hours and arriving in nypa at 2 pm, i rushed down to 2nd ave and 7th street on the r train to meet savita at may's place. it was so funny, we both kicked our boots off when we sat down and used up many napkins to dry whatever we could. i ordered the lunch special consisting of a ginger salad, a tuna roll, a salmon roll and a bowl of udon. savita ordered the salmon teriyaki bento box. after an hour or so later of some good qt, we wandered around to starbucks for coffee/pumpkin bread and various other stores for gifts. we tried to get into bobst with no success. we found ourselves in a building with computers where savita could charge her phone because of a nice and unnamed security guard. it still would not turn on so we brought it to the verizon store where we discovered her battery was dead; she bought a new one for $70!!! we eventually ended up at asian pub. our freshman year hangout is closing in a month!! so following tradition, we ordered some lychee-tinis and snacked on chips and salsa while chatting. we lured emily from her apartment to join us. we later went to phebe's on bowery and e 4th for magic hat #9 and emily's soup - the baguette was so good. at 10:40 pm, emily went home and savita and i slipped and slid down 4th street to get to the ace subway line to go back to nj.
i love that when we get together, we can talk about ANYTHING. and that i can tell them what i feel i can't tell anyone else. they divulge me for the time i need and understand. i adore that savita can tell me i was acting stupid when i overreacted to internet correspondence because i misinterpreted it. i have to admit i prefer face to face communication with eye contact and knowing the tone of someone's voice.
there is something about passing a moment with a beautiful stranger that even makes waiting for a bus an hour late worth it. i bumped into mike on the line to ny port authority at 10 am but the bus did not appear until 11 am. we met someone new who had a connection to both mike and me. we will probably never meet again, but it was a lovely fleeting moment. there were so many times we were prematurely relieved that buses arrived, but they were heading to points north, west and south... to newark, lakewood and atlantic city. finally, one did come to take us to our destination. once we boarded, i nestled into my seat and continued reading the world according to garp. i winced; i gasped; i laughed.
we were stuck in traffic for three hours and arriving in nypa at 2 pm, i rushed down to 2nd ave and 7th street on the r train to meet savita at may's place. it was so funny, we both kicked our boots off when we sat down and used up many napkins to dry whatever we could. i ordered the lunch special consisting of a ginger salad, a tuna roll, a salmon roll and a bowl of udon. savita ordered the salmon teriyaki bento box. after an hour or so later of some good qt, we wandered around to starbucks for coffee/pumpkin bread and various other stores for gifts. we tried to get into bobst with no success. we found ourselves in a building with computers where savita could charge her phone because of a nice and unnamed security guard. it still would not turn on so we brought it to the verizon store where we discovered her battery was dead; she bought a new one for $70!!! we eventually ended up at asian pub. our freshman year hangout is closing in a month!! so following tradition, we ordered some lychee-tinis and snacked on chips and salsa while chatting. we lured emily from her apartment to join us. we later went to phebe's on bowery and e 4th for magic hat #9 and emily's soup - the baguette was so good. at 10:40 pm, emily went home and savita and i slipped and slid down 4th street to get to the ace subway line to go back to nj.
i love that when we get together, we can talk about ANYTHING. and that i can tell them what i feel i can't tell anyone else. they divulge me for the time i need and understand. i adore that savita can tell me i was acting stupid when i overreacted to internet correspondence because i misinterpreted it. i have to admit i prefer face to face communication with eye contact and knowing the tone of someone's voice.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
getting ready for my winter hibernation.
christmas eve was lovely. i had gone for a run, the first in a long time, and then my parents and i went to atlantic city. i met up with my grandma, aunt mary and uncle wah at a chinese place. aunt julie and jess had already eaten so they placed our reservation and ordered the food so it would be ready when we got there. there was crab fried rice, lobster, eggplant, collard greens, steamed fish, and fruit for dessert. i went up to our room in caesar's and went straight to bed. my mom went to walk around and gamble and came in later. i woke up after 7 hours and ordered breakfast! two eggs over easy with toast and potatoes. my dad and mom got the western omelet with toast and potatoes. then we bummed around as my dad watched chinese tv and i read. around lunchtime, we went to the vietnamese place off north carolina ave with aunt mary, uncle wah, jess, aunt julie, and grandma. i got bun with shrimp on sugar cane (so perfect with fish sauce) with vietnamese coffee (so syrupy and sweet! i didn't like it). then my parents and i went home to go to aunt samantha's house for her dinner. it was a nonstop foodfest with mashed sweet potatoes, sushi, pistachio cake, fruit and yogurt tarts, lobster curry, dumplings, (and other stuff i couldn't eat) all while i sipped on red wine. while digesting, savita called and we chatted about a possible nyc meet up tuesday :)
on our way home, my dad was imparting his wisdom. he was telling me about life in the real world and how i can be super educated but still not know anything. it was interesting to listen to him talk about different types of people out there. i feel like i've met many of them though, but i let him go on. one highlight: when you ask questions or ask for help, you will either get a response or you won't. out of the people who won't respond, they either don't know or know and don't want to help you because of competition or jealousy. my dad told me not to be in the latter group if i can help it. it just causes unnecessary stress to an unfulfilling life. so wiseeee, i wish he had a beard to look the part.
on our way home, my dad was imparting his wisdom. he was telling me about life in the real world and how i can be super educated but still not know anything. it was interesting to listen to him talk about different types of people out there. i feel like i've met many of them though, but i let him go on. one highlight: when you ask questions or ask for help, you will either get a response or you won't. out of the people who won't respond, they either don't know or know and don't want to help you because of competition or jealousy. my dad told me not to be in the latter group if i can help it. it just causes unnecessary stress to an unfulfilling life. so wiseeee, i wish he had a beard to look the part.
Friday, December 24, 2010
with a splash of milk and a hint of cinnamon
today my mom and i went to starbucks. i got my tall cup of christmas blend; i ordered her a tall peppermint mocha. as she paid for it, she dropped her money into the fridge with the sandwiches on display. dave probably got his basketball skills from her because the fall was so precise it slipped through the fan grate. i could see a lot of icky stuff in there, but i simply could not retrieve it. the poor high school cashier tried to clear the whole shelf but couldn't get to it. he brought out a vacuum but couldn't suck it out. the best part was that both the workers and the other customers were super patient. eventually i just paid for it and pleaded with my mother to forget about the $20. she was appalled at my suggestion. then as i waited for my credit card, the other starbucks worker handed me the missing money. i don't know how she got to it, but it almost made the 15 minutes of awkwardness worth it. almost.
my mom was smitten, especially since she got her money back AND got me to pay for her drink haha.
my mom was smitten, especially since she got her money back AND got me to pay for her drink haha.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
"And I was like
baby baby baby ooh
like baby baby baby noo
like baby baby baby ooh
i thought you'd always be mine."
-justin bieber
nikhil and i met up yesterday after i came back from the gym. we walked to canal street and i made an exception. i had an egg custard tart and pork bun from chinatown, which is the best in the world in my opinion (so much better than the ones in sf, la or boston - no offense). he had to go grade biochem finals so i walked through soho window shopping at uniqlo and urban outfitters. i went to trader joe's to buy anjali a coffee cake for her belated birthday and who should call but MEERA who was ALSO around union square.
meera and i chatted about dartmouth and penn as we walked to 15th and 8th ave where we saw anjali across the street!! we walked to chelsea market to meet emily, looking sophisticated and business casual! after everyone else got their sandwiches, we found ourselves a bench like homeless people, per usual. then a table became available so we moved. near there, i awkwardly asked a stoic man to take our picture; he unhappily did so.
with meera's suitcase that was bigger than her whole body, we hopped in a cab to stout where evan met up with us. i had hard cider, which had that sweet and bubbly i was looking for. then at 3:50 pm, i RAN to port authority to go home. i usually sleep during the whole ride, but i woke up in time to watch the orange sky turn dark. so pretty. SAFE TRAVELS MEERA, i miss you already.
today i woke up and went to the mall with my mom. i bought some stuff and then went to shop rite with jena while blasting j biebs (against my will - mostly) during the car ride. we got some eggs and pecans to make pecan pie bars. they turned out gooey and sweet and buttery in all the right ways. we watched peter pan, the non-animated version from 2004, and i think it changed my life. so cute i can't even put it in words. then we watched britney spears videos that were playing for the whole day haha while looking through our middle school yearbook. now i'm happily reading the world according to garp (i stopped quoting the book because it got a little intense. i highly recommend it though, it's a page turner).
like baby baby baby noo
like baby baby baby ooh
i thought you'd always be mine."
-justin bieber
nikhil and i met up yesterday after i came back from the gym. we walked to canal street and i made an exception. i had an egg custard tart and pork bun from chinatown, which is the best in the world in my opinion (so much better than the ones in sf, la or boston - no offense). he had to go grade biochem finals so i walked through soho window shopping at uniqlo and urban outfitters. i went to trader joe's to buy anjali a coffee cake for her belated birthday and who should call but MEERA who was ALSO around union square.
meera and i chatted about dartmouth and penn as we walked to 15th and 8th ave where we saw anjali across the street!! we walked to chelsea market to meet emily, looking sophisticated and business casual! after everyone else got their sandwiches, we found ourselves a bench like homeless people, per usual. then a table became available so we moved. near there, i awkwardly asked a stoic man to take our picture; he unhappily did so.
with meera's suitcase that was bigger than her whole body, we hopped in a cab to stout where evan met up with us. i had hard cider, which had that sweet and bubbly i was looking for. then at 3:50 pm, i RAN to port authority to go home. i usually sleep during the whole ride, but i woke up in time to watch the orange sky turn dark. so pretty. SAFE TRAVELS MEERA, i miss you already.
today i woke up and went to the mall with my mom. i bought some stuff and then went to shop rite with jena while blasting j biebs (against my will - mostly) during the car ride. we got some eggs and pecans to make pecan pie bars. they turned out gooey and sweet and buttery in all the right ways. we watched peter pan, the non-animated version from 2004, and i think it changed my life. so cute i can't even put it in words. then we watched britney spears videos that were playing for the whole day haha while looking through our middle school yearbook. now i'm happily reading the world according to garp (i stopped quoting the book because it got a little intense. i highly recommend it though, it's a page turner).
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
"Late night, brakes lock, hear the tires squeal
Red light, can't stop so I spin the wheel
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance"
-Thrice
sunday night, after jess finished studying, we walked to ave a and 7th street a restaurant named 7a. we ordered a pitcher of sangria and split a quesadilla with guacamole and refried beans and a basket of fries. although it was gluttony to the extreme at midnight, it was worth it. monday i met up with michele at cosi for lunch. i had the apple granola salad with SO MUCH BREAD. the flatbread from that place is bomb. then i met up with jess again, edited her final paper and went to the gym. i don't care for the new machines at cole's... they are trying too hard to be advanced: precor > matrix. then jess and i reconvened to meet kenny at brick lane curry house on e 6th street and 2nd ave. we had some cauliflower fritters, fried onions and our own dishes. i had the vegetables in madras curry with some merlot. so good. then i went to into the subway and got out at the 110 and cathedral stop off the c. i went to rachel, kathryn and christina's apt to hang out. their andes mint brownies were so addictive and deliciously decadent. we watched one tree hill on dvd and chatted about whatever came to mind. we went to bed around midnight and i woke up to a cute note from the working girls.
i got ready to go to union square and met up with dan at whole foods. he got a sandwich and yogurt parfait as we sat and talked about the usual stuff. good luck on your surgery; i am so stoked i know what it is due to my anatomy class. then i went to pie on 4th ave and 13th street to visit liz. she gave me a sample slice of pizza as we talked about our breaks and what we have been doing. after that i met up with neil and krunal at bar none. neil bought me a blue moon and we talked about med school and non med school before they started playing beer pong at the bar. krunal had to go, so neil and i went to mamoun's on st. marks and then to pomme frites. you can't go wrong with pomegranate teriyaki mayo. we walked around washington square park to see the lit christmas tree there. then i went back to emily's to watch she's the man. that movie was ridiculous in all the right ways.
now i have to get my life together before going to chelsea market for lunch with emily, meera and anjali. i need to go to union square to find the dead drop usb sticks that chris mentioned...
My world goes black before I feel an angel steal me from the
Greedy jaws of death and chance, and pull me in with steady hands
They've given me a second chance, the artist in the ambulance"
-Thrice
sunday night, after jess finished studying, we walked to ave a and 7th street a restaurant named 7a. we ordered a pitcher of sangria and split a quesadilla with guacamole and refried beans and a basket of fries. although it was gluttony to the extreme at midnight, it was worth it. monday i met up with michele at cosi for lunch. i had the apple granola salad with SO MUCH BREAD. the flatbread from that place is bomb. then i met up with jess again, edited her final paper and went to the gym. i don't care for the new machines at cole's... they are trying too hard to be advanced: precor > matrix. then jess and i reconvened to meet kenny at brick lane curry house on e 6th street and 2nd ave. we had some cauliflower fritters, fried onions and our own dishes. i had the vegetables in madras curry with some merlot. so good. then i went to into the subway and got out at the 110 and cathedral stop off the c. i went to rachel, kathryn and christina's apt to hang out. their andes mint brownies were so addictive and deliciously decadent. we watched one tree hill on dvd and chatted about whatever came to mind. we went to bed around midnight and i woke up to a cute note from the working girls.
i got ready to go to union square and met up with dan at whole foods. he got a sandwich and yogurt parfait as we sat and talked about the usual stuff. good luck on your surgery; i am so stoked i know what it is due to my anatomy class. then i went to pie on 4th ave and 13th street to visit liz. she gave me a sample slice of pizza as we talked about our breaks and what we have been doing. after that i met up with neil and krunal at bar none. neil bought me a blue moon and we talked about med school and non med school before they started playing beer pong at the bar. krunal had to go, so neil and i went to mamoun's on st. marks and then to pomme frites. you can't go wrong with pomegranate teriyaki mayo. we walked around washington square park to see the lit christmas tree there. then i went back to emily's to watch she's the man. that movie was ridiculous in all the right ways.
now i have to get my life together before going to chelsea market for lunch with emily, meera and anjali. i need to go to union square to find the dead drop usb sticks that chris mentioned...
Sunday, December 19, 2010
"I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?"
-bon iver
yesterday, amit and i got into the city at 2 pm and had mamoun's on macdougal street for lunch. it is such a good falafel for so cheap ($2.50!). i went to bobst and took a nap while charging my ipod. then i met up with emily in midtown. we went to ise on 56th street for japanese food with her dad. i had the soba with bean curd, it was delicious. we shared the lobster tempura and had some kirin to wash it down. after watching mindless television in her dad's hotel room (while eating dark chocolate and assorted nuts), we went back to her apartment. we contemplated going to 107th street for a holiday party, but we were both pooped; traveling 40 minutes didn't seem reasonable when there was a bed so close. we fell asleep watching i love you, man in emily's bed.
this morning, i woke up after 8 hours of restful sleep. we went to george's for brunch. we both had eggs (mine were over easy) with toast and potatoes. we set up her new ipad in her room and laid around listening to bon iver and being emo. then we went shopping, split a wafle and dinges extravaganza, and walked around the city while chatting it up. emily also pierced her cartilage while i held her hand haha. i met up with jess in stuy town with a snowball pastry from blackhound in hand. so delicious. i had some graham crackers with chocolate and peanut butter - it was pretty perfect. at 6, i went to makita to meet up with rachel and christina for japanese food. we split a plate of vegetable gyoza and i had a yellowtail roll. i'm so content. now i'm with jess again eating more peanut butter as she types out her final paper. i kinda miss college sometimes...
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?"
-bon iver
yesterday, amit and i got into the city at 2 pm and had mamoun's on macdougal street for lunch. it is such a good falafel for so cheap ($2.50!). i went to bobst and took a nap while charging my ipod. then i met up with emily in midtown. we went to ise on 56th street for japanese food with her dad. i had the soba with bean curd, it was delicious. we shared the lobster tempura and had some kirin to wash it down. after watching mindless television in her dad's hotel room (while eating dark chocolate and assorted nuts), we went back to her apartment. we contemplated going to 107th street for a holiday party, but we were both pooped; traveling 40 minutes didn't seem reasonable when there was a bed so close. we fell asleep watching i love you, man in emily's bed.
this morning, i woke up after 8 hours of restful sleep. we went to george's for brunch. we both had eggs (mine were over easy) with toast and potatoes. we set up her new ipad in her room and laid around listening to bon iver and being emo. then we went shopping, split a wafle and dinges extravaganza, and walked around the city while chatting it up. emily also pierced her cartilage while i held her hand haha. i met up with jess in stuy town with a snowball pastry from blackhound in hand. so delicious. i had some graham crackers with chocolate and peanut butter - it was pretty perfect. at 6, i went to makita to meet up with rachel and christina for japanese food. we split a plate of vegetable gyoza and i had a yellowtail roll. i'm so content. now i'm with jess again eating more peanut butter as she types out her final paper. i kinda miss college sometimes...
Saturday, December 18, 2010
fireside chats in norwich
time lapse of la: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrGcd6PN7EE
dinner at molly's was amazing. for edmund's birthday, chris, ashley, dan, nick, robert, kenoma, ken, yike, alex, jocelyn, jonathon, erin and i ate and were merry. you also can't go wrong with $2 margaritas. i had a spicy black bean burger with fries per usual. so good. then chris, ashley and i hopped into his car to go to nicole's house in norwich. we chilled out with the people there, including nicole, julia, devang, mike, carrie, kirsten, whitney, nick, ryan, ben, liz, tessa, and lauren, and talked about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. at one point whitney, nick and i conversed about how to ski (pizza pies and french fries) and to brew beer (as well as other top secret ideas, pending pre-patents) in front of the fireplace, which was amazing. i will start said beginner skiing and beer brewing next month when we all come back. it's only going to be two weeks, but i think i have minor separation anxiety already...
tessa's peanut butter cookies with the kisses were amazing. you also can't go wrong with chips and salsa over fireside chatter. i tried the lemon flavor of four lokos, it was pretty gross. a little after midnight, we said our good-byes and nick picked me up in a hug! that makes me happy and reminds me that although i am not the skinniest one in my family, i'm not quite chubby yet. i hope.
now i'm heading to bed before going on the road with amit to manhattan. happy holidays.
dinner at molly's was amazing. for edmund's birthday, chris, ashley, dan, nick, robert, kenoma, ken, yike, alex, jocelyn, jonathon, erin and i ate and were merry. you also can't go wrong with $2 margaritas. i had a spicy black bean burger with fries per usual. so good. then chris, ashley and i hopped into his car to go to nicole's house in norwich. we chilled out with the people there, including nicole, julia, devang, mike, carrie, kirsten, whitney, nick, ryan, ben, liz, tessa, and lauren, and talked about life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. at one point whitney, nick and i conversed about how to ski (pizza pies and french fries) and to brew beer (as well as other top secret ideas, pending pre-patents) in front of the fireplace, which was amazing. i will start said beginner skiing and beer brewing next month when we all come back. it's only going to be two weeks, but i think i have minor separation anxiety already...
tessa's peanut butter cookies with the kisses were amazing. you also can't go wrong with chips and salsa over fireside chatter. i tried the lemon flavor of four lokos, it was pretty gross. a little after midnight, we said our good-byes and nick picked me up in a hug! that makes me happy and reminds me that although i am not the skinniest one in my family, i'm not quite chubby yet. i hope.
now i'm heading to bed before going on the road with amit to manhattan. happy holidays.
Friday, December 17, 2010
energy, anergy, apathy.
quiz one done. thank goodness... i didn't feel prepared but i'm glad it is over!
this morning i woke up at 6:30 to look over some radiology (anterior collateral ligament on the test!) before heading over to the exam room. it was awesome that chris, julia and ryan bought us muffins and hot chocolate and coffee for the test. thanks guys! with my blueberry muffin and coffee in hand, i sat next to jon and in front of marianne. i looked down and realized that my ankle was bleeding due to the newness of my sneakers. i was then told about moleskin bandages. i'll have to look into that.
i took the anatomy, biochemistry, immunology, and physiology tests thinking they were pretty fair but still guessing at a few. i loved seeing the question about the posterior tibial artery because david and i had taken off our shoes and socks to find it the other night. haha or the one about the function of the popliteus muscle (it laterally rotates your knee to unlock it) when quynh, dan and i talked about it in class. or dr. j. lyons telling us to remember the cutaneous innervation of the deep fibular artery (between the big and second toes) and having it show up on the test. or dr. swenson's table conference question about anastamosis on the test (it wasn't the obturator artery!). studying in groups is definitely more awesome than flying solo (i miss our biochem study sessions, savita!). then i went to the student lounge to give mariam her finals present where i got to hang out with yike and mike while waiting for our friends to finish their tests. the ski video (with its awesome soundtrack, haha including the emo song, jess) we watched was so artfully done, kinda inspires me to go skiing if i can manage to stay standing. jocelyn and i then walked lou's for menaka's birthday brunch! i was still full from my muffin so i nibbled at jocelyn's potatoes, brooke's eggs and katia's frappe as they offered... i need to learn about resistance. i went to the gym and worked out for today and my missed day from wednesday. i walked home and cleaned my bathroom.
i always appreciate it when people put the seat down.
then i watched grey's anatomy and 30 rock after unsuccessfully attempting to nap. now i'm off to molly's! mmm, the bread there is bomb. can't wait until tomorrow when amit and i drive back to nyc to hang out with emily, rachel, kathryn! and then spending time with jess, nikhil doing whatever before wednesday lunch with meera, anjali and emily!! immediately after, i'll be going home. HOME. i'm so excited.
this morning i woke up at 6:30 to look over some radiology (anterior collateral ligament on the test!) before heading over to the exam room. it was awesome that chris, julia and ryan bought us muffins and hot chocolate and coffee for the test. thanks guys! with my blueberry muffin and coffee in hand, i sat next to jon and in front of marianne. i looked down and realized that my ankle was bleeding due to the newness of my sneakers. i was then told about moleskin bandages. i'll have to look into that.
i took the anatomy, biochemistry, immunology, and physiology tests thinking they were pretty fair but still guessing at a few. i loved seeing the question about the posterior tibial artery because david and i had taken off our shoes and socks to find it the other night. haha or the one about the function of the popliteus muscle (it laterally rotates your knee to unlock it) when quynh, dan and i talked about it in class. or dr. j. lyons telling us to remember the cutaneous innervation of the deep fibular artery (between the big and second toes) and having it show up on the test. or dr. swenson's table conference question about anastamosis on the test (it wasn't the obturator artery!). studying in groups is definitely more awesome than flying solo (i miss our biochem study sessions, savita!). then i went to the student lounge to give mariam her finals present where i got to hang out with yike and mike while waiting for our friends to finish their tests. the ski video (with its awesome soundtrack, haha including the emo song, jess) we watched was so artfully done, kinda inspires me to go skiing if i can manage to stay standing. jocelyn and i then walked lou's for menaka's birthday brunch! i was still full from my muffin so i nibbled at jocelyn's potatoes, brooke's eggs and katia's frappe as they offered... i need to learn about resistance. i went to the gym and worked out for today and my missed day from wednesday. i walked home and cleaned my bathroom.
i always appreciate it when people put the seat down.
then i watched grey's anatomy and 30 rock after unsuccessfully attempting to nap. now i'm off to molly's! mmm, the bread there is bomb. can't wait until tomorrow when amit and i drive back to nyc to hang out with emily, rachel, kathryn! and then spending time with jess, nikhil doing whatever before wednesday lunch with meera, anjali and emily!! immediately after, i'll be going home. HOME. i'm so excited.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Happy Birthday Edmund!
As I get through this week, I am nostalgic for the things I miss from New York.
-themed potlucks (and cooking on a gas stove)
-having a gym in my apartment building
-street vendors with their crazy jewelry and scarves
-ice skating in Bryant Park
-the holiday windows displays at the big department stores
-the type of guy who wears skinny ties with his jeans and converse
-people watching
-reading in parks
-getting beyond the small talk
-leaving work at work when I go home for the day
-going out and dressing up wearing heels!
-just catching the subway train as you swipe in
-when people tell you they're leaving and say bye
-Max Brenner's and Trader Joe's
-taking a walk with someone without any destination in mind
Dove chocolate: Your smile is your best accessory.
-themed potlucks (and cooking on a gas stove)
-having a gym in my apartment building
-street vendors with their crazy jewelry and scarves
-ice skating in Bryant Park
-the holiday windows displays at the big department stores
-the type of guy who wears skinny ties with his jeans and converse
-people watching
-reading in parks
-getting beyond the small talk
-leaving work at work when I go home for the day
-going out and dressing up wearing heels!
-just catching the subway train as you swipe in
-when people tell you they're leaving and say bye
-Max Brenner's and Trader Joe's
-taking a walk with someone without any destination in mind
Dove chocolate: Your smile is your best accessory.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Happy Birthday Menaka!
I woke up feeling like I stepped into a scene of the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. Outside was beautiful, but I was seriously contemplating skipping class. However, Sir Lyons was scheduled to lecture about the anterior leg, and how could I resist?
HAE was good, minus Bijan. I love the ability to hold something concretely and understand how it originates, inserts and works a motion. I really enjoyed working with Quynh and Dan; we have a good flow to our group. Anatomy is the only class I really understand right now. I think I'll change my mind when I get to the head and neck. Biochemistry is always hit or miss. I have never heard someone say phosphorylate, de-phosphorylate, phosphorylase, phosphatase and other similar sounding words in a 10 minute span before. I didn't get much out of it. Immuno was... immuno. I don't think the professor understands how tone can put someone off. The way he speaks to us seems so condescending...
Small group was cool, I like hearing my peers speak so knowledgeably. Makes me feel that I, too, can someday do the same (which I will have to do in about four weeks).
It's always unexpectedly refreshing to hear someone use profanity in an educational setting - especially when we admit that we don't know: "For fuck's sake - you're the doctors." Don't give us so much credit. Actually, we're not... we're pretty useless right now.
HAE was good, minus Bijan. I love the ability to hold something concretely and understand how it originates, inserts and works a motion. I really enjoyed working with Quynh and Dan; we have a good flow to our group. Anatomy is the only class I really understand right now. I think I'll change my mind when I get to the head and neck. Biochemistry is always hit or miss. I have never heard someone say phosphorylate, de-phosphorylate, phosphorylase, phosphatase and other similar sounding words in a 10 minute span before. I didn't get much out of it. Immuno was... immuno. I don't think the professor understands how tone can put someone off. The way he speaks to us seems so condescending...
Small group was cool, I like hearing my peers speak so knowledgeably. Makes me feel that I, too, can someday do the same (which I will have to do in about four weeks).
It's always unexpectedly refreshing to hear someone use profanity in an educational setting - especially when we admit that we don't know: "For fuck's sake - you're the doctors." Don't give us so much credit. Actually, we're not... we're pretty useless right now.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Laughter is the best medicine.
Let me just catch my breath.
Today was so productive in all the ways you wouldn't think. I woke up later than usual (thank goodness, I have been meaning to sleep in) to snow-blanketed scenery outside my window. I went downstairs to study on my couch but Wes and Robert came out and were a bit too conversational for being productive. I went upstairs until Robert said he wanted to go to BJs and to run errands. Wesley and I joined him to West Leb. I started to push the cart and jokingly told Robert to hop on the end; the best part: he did. So I pushed him around the aisles until we got to the food. I loved the coffee, ramen, cheesecake, egg nog, berry crumble samples. Good desserts to my vegetables I had for lunch. I bought my bread, veggie burgers, hummus, crackers, apples, and spinach. It was awesome seeing Mike P. when we were checking out! And then we went to Price Chopper where Robert had to pick up some dairy products as Wes and I browsed the magazine racks. After we loaded the car, unloaded the car, and stocked up the fridge/freezer, Robert and I went to the gym! He went into a parallel parking spot, but not in the way you would think. He just rolled up and down the curb haha. It was great. We left after 45 minutes or so (good seeing Nicole and Marco there!)and then when he turned the car around, he just rolled up and down the curb on the opposite side of the street. I just kept on laughing today. We stopped by the math department to get his lunch and then drove home while I read my immunology notes with a terrible British accent. Ahhhhh, such silly times with silly people. :)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
"All I want for Christmas is you"
Perfection.
We expect it from ourselves, from each other and certainly from our doctors, but is it obtainable?
Like Dr. O says, p = MD. I'm sure that it is perfectly acceptable to get by. I just feel guilty when I am not studying when I "should be". But at the end of these four years, are we going to remember the nights we kept our heads in the books or the nights bonding over spiked egg nog and hot apple cider in cute outfits? I'm glad Lauren and I went to Julia's for her holiday party. What made it even better? Musical ties, Christmas music, and Sawyer, Devang's dog.
Plus after eating lunch at Yama with Edmund, I bought a white and green striped Dartmouth scarf. I feel like part of the Slytherin house. :P
We expect it from ourselves, from each other and certainly from our doctors, but is it obtainable?
Like Dr. O says, p = MD. I'm sure that it is perfectly acceptable to get by. I just feel guilty when I am not studying when I "should be". But at the end of these four years, are we going to remember the nights we kept our heads in the books or the nights bonding over spiked egg nog and hot apple cider in cute outfits? I'm glad Lauren and I went to Julia's for her holiday party. What made it even better? Musical ties, Christmas music, and Sawyer, Devang's dog.
Plus after eating lunch at Yama with Edmund, I bought a white and green striped Dartmouth scarf. I feel like part of the Slytherin house. :P
Thursday, December 9, 2010
"You have diabetes. Or down syndrome. Or a broken arm."
Watch this: http://ww
-courtesy of Yike
It will change your life.
Today I talked to my mama on my way to school. I like those 15 minutes a few mornings a week to catch up on life and to let her know I am taking care of myself (sorta). Biochemistry moved way fast today and I was a bit tired to pay attention. I skipped immunology for the library and learned some things. I grabbed some pizza before Justin drove me to Alice Peck Day for my preceptorship. I really enjoy working with the physician I shadow and learn from, she's really understanding and tries to include my interests with each day. :)
I took the bus home. Thank you Jocelyn for talking on the phone as I waited for it in the blistering cold. From DHMC, Marco, David and Natsu hopped on so the rest of the ride was easy peasy. Walking home from the Field House dropoff, however, was not. My feet were RED when I got home so I hopped in a warm shower to defrost. I tried to nap after eating (I was ravenous and unsatiable - I figured it was better to just lay down). I got up 30 minutes later without knowing if I fell asleep or not. I am so out of it these days. I can't wait until the weekend when I don't have to do anything but study and sleep and eat.
-courtesy of Yike
It will change your life.
Today I talked to my mama on my way to school. I like those 15 minutes a few mornings a week to catch up on life and to let her know I am taking care of myself (sorta). Biochemistry moved way fast today and I was a bit tired to pay attention. I skipped immunology for the library and learned some things. I grabbed some pizza before Justin drove me to Alice Peck Day for my preceptorship. I really enjoy working with the physician I shadow and learn from, she's really understanding and tries to include my interests with each day. :)
I took the bus home. Thank you Jocelyn for talking on the phone as I waited for it in the blistering cold. From DHMC, Marco, David and Natsu hopped on so the rest of the ride was easy peasy. Walking home from the Field House dropoff, however, was not. My feet were RED when I got home so I hopped in a warm shower to defrost. I tried to nap after eating (I was ravenous and unsatiable - I figured it was better to just lay down). I got up 30 minutes later without knowing if I fell asleep or not. I am so out of it these days. I can't wait until the weekend when I don't have to do anything but study and sleep and eat.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
"You all get that, right?"
We have one professor who is blunt and in your face. Sometimes that is good, but sometimes that just alienates the audience. How can people feel comfortable to ask you questions if the way you talk suggests that they're idiots if they don't know? ANYWAY - I won't be attending those lectures anymore... as in, I won't be going to that lecture TOMORROW.
So today I went to physiology lecture and uploaded the audio recording. After the library, I went to the gym, showered, and then studied. I like it in the cocoon I was in - the silence automatically makes you feel obligated to turn off gchat and study. I got the most done in a long long while. At 4, I headed to the DHMC cafe to get dinner rolls for our anatomy group potluck. At 5, we went to the neuroradiology interest group meeting, but it ran late so I didn't get to catch any of it before going to scrub training. My arms feel SO clean, albeit dry. I got all of the orange stuff off my arms except a few splotches on my FINGER NAILS. Next time, I'll get it. Bijan picked me up and we went into Vermont for dinner. Dan and Christy's home is so lovely with so many Christmas decorations! It was cool to catch up and talk about the most random things over the hosts' pasta with homemade fettuccine sauce, Quynh's amazing salad, Bijan's ice cream and grapes, and ROOT BEER FLOATS.
So... about that studying...
So today I went to physiology lecture and uploaded the audio recording. After the library, I went to the gym, showered, and then studied. I like it in the cocoon I was in - the silence automatically makes you feel obligated to turn off gchat and study. I got the most done in a long long while. At 4, I headed to the DHMC cafe to get dinner rolls for our anatomy group potluck. At 5, we went to the neuroradiology interest group meeting, but it ran late so I didn't get to catch any of it before going to scrub training. My arms feel SO clean, albeit dry. I got all of the orange stuff off my arms except a few splotches on my FINGER NAILS. Next time, I'll get it. Bijan picked me up and we went into Vermont for dinner. Dan and Christy's home is so lovely with so many Christmas decorations! It was cool to catch up and talk about the most random things over the hosts' pasta with homemade fettuccine sauce, Quynh's amazing salad, Bijan's ice cream and grapes, and ROOT BEER FLOATS.
So... about that studying...
Monday, December 6, 2010
"There is a place where the sidewalk ends
And before the street begins,
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind."
-Shel Silverstein
Camera phone pictures
from my sidewalk journey in NYC,
November 20-23, 2010
And there the grass grows soft and white,
And there the sun burns crimson bright,
And there the moon-bird rests from his flight
To cool in the peppermint wind."
-Shel Silverstein
Camera phone pictures
from my sidewalk journey in NYC,
November 20-23, 2010
 |
| empire state building! |
 |
| all walks of life in the subway car |
 |
| warren weaver hall done with construction! |
 |
| liz at wsp |
 |
| construction at wsp |
 |
| yogurtland is no more... |
 |
| where is the v? |
 |
| i miss urban outfitters so much it hurts. |
 |
| union square holiday fair |
 |
| freudian slippers. haha |
 |
| union square at night |
 |
| park by bellevue |
 |
| grand central station |
 |
| mmmmm |
 |
| i miss metro crossword puzzles on the subway on my way to work |
 |
| JAMBA JUICE on w houston |
 |
| random vs wings along broadway |
 |
| peeping at people through the stairs in uniqlo, nyc |
 |
| nyc restaurants get grades. i'm glad mcd passed. |
 |
| wtc |
 |
| bobst, the nyu library |
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| living life on the edge |
 |
| vi where she belongs, in the kitchen! :P |
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| futty playing zoe jane, for zoe jane :) |
Sunday, December 5, 2010
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
-Robert Frost
Studying is such a chore. Don't get me wrong, I love learning and knowing what we are being taught. It is just so mentally draining, and I get so hungry all. the. time. Anyway, immunology is on my agenda today - let's see what sense I can make out of it.
So I got to thinking about expectations.
The thing is, I admire humility in people. Pride is such a turnoff that I find it hard to be in the same conversation with an arrogant person unless I make light of what they're saying. If I ever do this, I sincerely hope you bring it to my attention.
Expectations are a funny thing. You expect something as if you deserve it. Isn't that also presumptuous and arrogant? I have come to terms with not having any expectations.
Dove Chocolate: You are invited to relax today.
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep."
-Robert Frost
Studying is such a chore. Don't get me wrong, I love learning and knowing what we are being taught. It is just so mentally draining, and I get so hungry all. the. time. Anyway, immunology is on my agenda today - let's see what sense I can make out of it.
So I got to thinking about expectations.
The thing is, I admire humility in people. Pride is such a turnoff that I find it hard to be in the same conversation with an arrogant person unless I make light of what they're saying. If I ever do this, I sincerely hope you bring it to my attention.
Expectations are a funny thing. You expect something as if you deserve it. Isn't that also presumptuous and arrogant? I have come to terms with not having any expectations.
Dove Chocolate: You are invited to relax today.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
laryngitis.
upper respiratory infection.
the common cold.
I hate being sick. It's been a few days, so I don't think I'm contagious anymore. I hope I am not at least... considering the quantity of people I encountered last night. I'm so glad to see the usual faces like Menaka, Jocelyn, Erin, Ashley, Quynh, Nick, Alex, Lauren, Ryan F, Ryan G, Ken, Yike, Paul, Joe, Derek, Ilya, Mike, Julia, Devang, Nicole, Carrie, Edmund, Chris, Katia, and new ones for me, like Jess - we're rainchecking our coffee date btw, Dave, Wade, Asha, Nora, Libby and others! I'm so glad Elliot stopped by, too! :)
This is in addition to the unquantifiable number of people I met last night from the MALS, math, cs, cog neuroscience depts, DMS2, etc. For me, the party was fun, sadly the DJ bailed and the speakers were feeble. The mixing and mingling seemed cute though; I'm glad everyone met some people outside their usual circle. This morning, I am super tired but impressed by the pristine condition of my house this morning.
In short, my roommates are bomb.
upper respiratory infection.
the common cold.
I hate being sick. It's been a few days, so I don't think I'm contagious anymore. I hope I am not at least... considering the quantity of people I encountered last night. I'm so glad to see the usual faces like Menaka, Jocelyn, Erin, Ashley, Quynh, Nick, Alex, Lauren, Ryan F, Ryan G, Ken, Yike, Paul, Joe, Derek, Ilya, Mike, Julia, Devang, Nicole, Carrie, Edmund, Chris, Katia, and new ones for me, like Jess - we're rainchecking our coffee date btw, Dave, Wade, Asha, Nora, Libby and others! I'm so glad Elliot stopped by, too! :)
This is in addition to the unquantifiable number of people I met last night from the MALS, math, cs, cog neuroscience depts, DMS2, etc. For me, the party was fun, sadly the DJ bailed and the speakers were feeble. The mixing and mingling seemed cute though; I'm glad everyone met some people outside their usual circle. This morning, I am super tired but impressed by the pristine condition of my house this morning.
In short, my roommates are bomb.
Friday, December 3, 2010
Happy Birthday Rachel!
par·lance[pahr-luhns]–noun
a way or manner of speaking; vernacular; idiom: legal parlance.
I love sitting in lecture and listening to the professor say words like "parlance", which seem so antiquated, but also very lovely at the same time. Of course, these words belong to Dr. J. Lyons.
There is a certain grace to him. He even taught us about Queen Ann's lace before lecture. The plant is from the parsley family and is also known as wild carrot because its roots smell like carrot. Who doesn't like a little botany before getting into the nitty gritty (today it was the thigh). It is good to know that our professors have lives outside of medicine - someday we will, too. Lab was great, my group is perfectly synced. Dr. Swenson is also an enormous resource who helps us dive into the procedures, full throttle.
Afterward, Kai, Ryan and I sat together at the rural health meeting, I hope to go someone cool this spring break and shadow and learn. Summer seems so far, but I should start thinking about where to go...
TGIF.
There is a certain grace to him. He even taught us about Queen Ann's lace before lecture. The plant is from the parsley family and is also known as wild carrot because its roots smell like carrot. Who doesn't like a little botany before getting into the nitty gritty (today it was the thigh). It is good to know that our professors have lives outside of medicine - someday we will, too. Lab was great, my group is perfectly synced. Dr. Swenson is also an enormous resource who helps us dive into the procedures, full throttle.
Afterward, Kai, Ryan and I sat together at the rural health meeting, I hope to go someone cool this spring break and shadow and learn. Summer seems so far, but I should start thinking about where to go...
TGIF.
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Happy Birthday Jocelyn!
I have a cold.
I think it is due to the fact that I haven't been eating nutritiously or sleeping nearly enough. However, Monday, I still went to the Hanukkah Ball after Margarita's. Tuesday, I stayed in the student lounge and watched Glee with the med school kids. Yesterday, I went to Molly's for Jocelyn's birthday eve. Today, I studied at Dana with some people I don't see enough! I love being able to ask questions with them; it's so open and not judgmental. Speaking of which, I went to the cultural competency events. The sessions were really insightful. Tomorrow, I will be at my house party...
I don't know how I already feel overwhelmed with less than one week of classes. The material has been so dense and detailed, without me having any idea of what is necessary to know. Who has time to study? ...especially since I am achy and tired all the time. These three weeks seem troublesome.
I think it is due to the fact that I haven't been eating nutritiously or sleeping nearly enough. However, Monday, I still went to the Hanukkah Ball after Margarita's. Tuesday, I stayed in the student lounge and watched Glee with the med school kids. Yesterday, I went to Molly's for Jocelyn's birthday eve. Today, I studied at Dana with some people I don't see enough! I love being able to ask questions with them; it's so open and not judgmental. Speaking of which, I went to the cultural competency events. The sessions were really insightful. Tomorrow, I will be at my house party...
I don't know how I already feel overwhelmed with less than one week of classes. The material has been so dense and detailed, without me having any idea of what is necessary to know. Who has time to study? ...especially since I am achy and tired all the time. These three weeks seem troublesome.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
"Things we see are moose accidents, chainsaw accidents... and you see pure medical problems."
As I sit in the emergency medicine core lunch, I am so surprised at this doctor's energy. She is amazingly well-spoken and optimistic. I feel like I am neither of these things at the moment.
Today in our on doc group, everyone was really open and honest. We were in a bubble of openness and warm-fuzzy-feelings. There was such a genuine aura that created a super safe space. It didn't hurt that the cranberry bagel with cream cheese and funfetti cupcake were so delicious. I think it was our best class yet, especially with the addition of Rachel!
Dove dark chocolate wrapper:
"Chocolate won't let you down."
Today in our on doc group, everyone was really open and honest. We were in a bubble of openness and warm-fuzzy-feelings. There was such a genuine aura that created a super safe space. It didn't hurt that the cranberry bagel with cream cheese and funfetti cupcake were so delicious. I think it was our best class yet, especially with the addition of Rachel!
Dove dark chocolate wrapper:
"Chocolate won't let you down."
Monday, November 29, 2010
gluconeogenesis.
Sometimes I feel that I am too honest with my feelings. For the next three weeks, I'm going to shut up and stay in my room to study. Except for tonight. And tomorrow for Glee. And Wednesday for possible dinner at Molly's. And Friday for the parties hosted by Student Council and my housemates. Then, I'm going to shut up and stay in my room to study.
Hanukkah Ball tonight at Hanover Inn 8-11, free open bar!
Hanukkah Ball tonight at Hanover Inn 8-11, free open bar!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Happy Birthday Cindy!
Today I woke up without the alarm clock and got ready to go into NYC. I packed all my things and got my new running sneakers on (to break them in and to take up less space) to depart TR for Hanover. This time around, I remembered to bring my retainer and thought about my first and last surgery, which was at the dentist's. He had implanted a crown (I was born without an adult tooth and the baby was coming out) but it didn't fit perfectly. He started to file down the tooth complimentary to the fake one, which I didn't want. I flinched but he only asked if I was hurt. I said no, but was unable to tell him that I wanted him to stop destroying my tooth. My dentist had no idea that I didn't want him to file down my tooth to make the implant fit into my bite. He never asked what I wanted. I feel that as a doctor, as a lawyer, or as any person working with a consumer, you need to ask what that person's priorities are. I have ignored his e-mail reminders to come in for teeth cleanings and check ups. I just resent the fact that I never spoke my mind and that he never made me comfortable enough to tell him how I felt.
I guess, it was a good example of miscommunication leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
Lately, I have been trying to say exactly how I feel in the moment. I like holding people responsible for their actions and would like to be held responsible for mine. It is nice to say what you feel without worrying about how you'll be perceived because you know these people only have the best intentions for you.
Roadtripping with Amit was awesome. I don't even remember what we talked about (mostly how much we love and miss NYC I think), but time flew by as we flew by the surrounding scenery.
I guess, it was a good example of miscommunication leaving a bad taste in my mouth.
Lately, I have been trying to say exactly how I feel in the moment. I like holding people responsible for their actions and would like to be held responsible for mine. It is nice to say what you feel without worrying about how you'll be perceived because you know these people only have the best intentions for you.
Roadtripping with Amit was awesome. I don't even remember what we talked about (mostly how much we love and miss NYC I think), but time flew by as we flew by the surrounding scenery.
Friday, November 26, 2010
"It is said that the Dragon Warrior can go for months without eating, surviving on the dew of a single ginko leaf and the energy of the universe."
-Tigress, Kung Fu Panda
Last night after Dave and Vi left for Philly, I napped from 10:30 p until 2:15 am to go BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING!! Fut and Pam picked me up and we ran amok Toms River. From Kohl's at 2:30 to TARGET at 3:30 and then the OC mall at 5. I bought a lot of presents, so obviously I cannot say what hehe. We went back to Futty's and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding before drifting asleep. We woke at up 10 because Pam had to go to PT and then I fell back asleep until noon to half of a McDonald's breakfast waiting for me. :)
Then, an hour later, Mrs. B made us a grand Filipino lunch and I ate my second meal. We played with Zoe while Alan learned how to play Staind's Zoe Jane. So amazing. After eating Pam's chocolate chip cake with almond cannoli frosting, I went home and had some apple pie. haha, glutinous! Because, then I had some clementines and leftovers from last night's dinner... all before going to dinner with Amy, Christine and Ashley at Red Lobster. While they ordered their beautiful appetizers and entrees, I got a cup of coffee. I need to stop eating so much! But girl talk with them is the best - I can't believe I've known these people for over ten years. You guys are family <3
Last night after Dave and Vi left for Philly, I napped from 10:30 p until 2:15 am to go BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPING!! Fut and Pam picked me up and we ran amok Toms River. From Kohl's at 2:30 to TARGET at 3:30 and then the OC mall at 5. I bought a lot of presents, so obviously I cannot say what hehe. We went back to Futty's and watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding before drifting asleep. We woke at up 10 because Pam had to go to PT and then I fell back asleep until noon to half of a McDonald's breakfast waiting for me. :)
Then, an hour later, Mrs. B made us a grand Filipino lunch and I ate my second meal. We played with Zoe while Alan learned how to play Staind's Zoe Jane. So amazing. After eating Pam's chocolate chip cake with almond cannoli frosting, I went home and had some apple pie. haha, glutinous! Because, then I had some clementines and leftovers from last night's dinner... all before going to dinner with Amy, Christine and Ashley at Red Lobster. While they ordered their beautiful appetizers and entrees, I got a cup of coffee. I need to stop eating so much! But girl talk with them is the best - I can't believe I've known these people for over ten years. You guys are family <3
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Yesterday I left Jess's place and walked up to NYU Med to donate blood. I'll always have a special place in my heart for the blood donation center there. Actually, just for the hard-ass blond lady who cracks a smile every once in awhile. I went up to 41st and Park to meet up with Kenny at his firm for lunch. We went to O Cafe on 40th and Lex (I think) and I got a mesclun salad with beets, mushrooms, feta, olives, tomato and egg whites. We chatted about his gf, work, and NY while I contributed to the conversation with medical school and living in ruralism. Then I went to Union Square and met up with Ken and we walked around while he let me hold onto his arm whilst I was feeling woozy from the blood donation. There is always good conversation about music, movies and other miscellaneous things with him. Then, we went to the Community Lab event at Skirball about racial profiling for a hot second to pick up my comped tickets from Phi and to say hi. Always a pleasure to see you, Pheebs. Then I met up with Emily and we went back to our old apartment. I met her new roommates and we just chatted before falling asleep in her bed. I miss living in Manhattan. More importantly, I miss living with Emily in Manhattan.
Today, I woke up and watched Glee before heading up to the Cosi on 8th Street to hang out with Natalie and Jorge. I saw JESS there coincidentally, and it was awesome because I had just seen her the morning before. We went back to Jorge's office, and Natalie, Jorge, Liam, Marcos and I chatted a long while before I went to meet Steph. We went to Starbucks on Astor until I went to meet Florine at Boka's on St. Marks for drinks. I was not satisfied with the service. NOT ONE BIT. Anyway, we parted ways before I met up with Parrish at the Starbucks on Astor! haha there again... and I got to catch up with my little freshman who is now a junior! Crazy. It's always nice to hear about people doing well :)
Now I am off to Jordan's for book club before getting on the bus to my home. My goodness, I have missed my family (while they have been running around in the Southern Californian sunshine without me!!!).
Today, I woke up and watched Glee before heading up to the Cosi on 8th Street to hang out with Natalie and Jorge. I saw JESS there coincidentally, and it was awesome because I had just seen her the morning before. We went back to Jorge's office, and Natalie, Jorge, Liam, Marcos and I chatted a long while before I went to meet Steph. We went to Starbucks on Astor until I went to meet Florine at Boka's on St. Marks for drinks. I was not satisfied with the service. NOT ONE BIT. Anyway, we parted ways before I met up with Parrish at the Starbucks on Astor! haha there again... and I got to catch up with my little freshman who is now a junior! Crazy. It's always nice to hear about people doing well :)
Now I am off to Jordan's for book club before getting on the bus to my home. My goodness, I have missed my family (while they have been running around in the Southern Californian sunshine without me!!!).
Monday, November 22, 2010
"The times are a-changin'..."
-Bob Dylan
Waking up Saturday morning was difficult. It was the morning after going to a third year party with Erin, Chris, Kenoma, and Justin, which was entertaining after Ryan came and after I started talking to Chelsea. Chris drove me home and Robert, Wes, Danny, Phil, Andrew and their other friend came home from Murphy's shortly after to spend some QT together. As I got ready to walk to the Hanover Inn, Wes was leaving and offered to drive me and we greeted the three guys crashing in our living room before leaving. I arrived to see Omar and Brittany at the station and we all chatted. Justin joined the bus in Lebanon, and we arrived in Boston two hours later. Justin and I got some food at D'Angelo's. I ordered a vegetable quesadilla and a New England clam chowder. Then arriving in New York, I met up with Kenny and we went to Bar Basque on 6th Ave and 30th Street. The mood was swanky and I enjoyed the vino rojo that that bartender recommended. Kenny had scotch, per usual. We ordered tapas and they were delicious, though I don't know if I would ever willingly pay $6.50 for a bite of fish. The bathrooms were black, red and chrome... something like out of an Iron Man movie. Then, I hopped on the PATH to Newark and hung out with Savita and Meera for the first time since my birthday party. We had dinner at Sushi Palace with Saad and then went back to Savita's apartment to talk in bed. It was so easy. I miss them on the daily.
Sunday morning, we got driven back to Newark Penn. I arrived in the city at 10 am. I went to Starbucks (Hanover doesn't have a legit Starbucks....) and then met up with Liz in SoHo. We walked up to Bleecker and Laf to have brunch at the NoHo Star. I ordered the Idaho breakfast: two eggs (sunnyside up), toast, potato pancakes and a side of fresh greens (in replacement of the sausage). Then we meandered around SoHo after Liz got her own cup of coffee. I was pleasantly surprised to discover she also puts cinnamon in her coffee! :) We walked around until my Apple Genius Bar appointment at 1 and got new headphones because mine ceased to work. We meandered up to Washington Square and NYU to FIND OUT THAT THE CONSTRUCTION AT WARREN WEAVER HALL IS DONE in addition to DASHING DIVA, JOHNNY ROCKETS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF STORES AND RESTAURANTS HAVE CLOSED. We continued walking until we reached the West Village where we went to Yogurtland off Bleecker and Morton somewhere and FOUND OUT IT WAS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT after Liz bought some stuff at American Apparel. Sad. I got some pumpkin and strawberry froyo with a dusting of graham cracker and blueberries. Then, we walked to Union Square to check out the holiday market. I FOUND OUT THAT THE V HAS BEEN REPLACED BY THE M AS WE WALKED BY THE 14TH ST/7TH AVE SUBWAY STATION. After that, we went to Barnes and Nobles so I could check out the book for Book Club. Love is a Four-Letter Word did not seem very good... so we browsed through Post Secrets: Life, Death and God. So amazing. Then she met up with her boyfriend and I met up with Jess at Stern. At 6:30, I headed to the 8th Street/Broadway uptown NRQ (NOT W, which HAS STOPPED RUNNING) station. Ken met me at the stop and we walked around Williamsburg until we went back to the apartment to watch TiMER and eat the chocolate peanut butter cookies he made. Both were perfect. At 10ish, I headed back into the city and went to Jess's apartment and chilled out over girl talk, the conversation - not the music. At least spending time with these people feel the same; I'm grateful for this constant.
Waking up Saturday morning was difficult. It was the morning after going to a third year party with Erin, Chris, Kenoma, and Justin, which was entertaining after Ryan came and after I started talking to Chelsea. Chris drove me home and Robert, Wes, Danny, Phil, Andrew and their other friend came home from Murphy's shortly after to spend some QT together. As I got ready to walk to the Hanover Inn, Wes was leaving and offered to drive me and we greeted the three guys crashing in our living room before leaving. I arrived to see Omar and Brittany at the station and we all chatted. Justin joined the bus in Lebanon, and we arrived in Boston two hours later. Justin and I got some food at D'Angelo's. I ordered a vegetable quesadilla and a New England clam chowder. Then arriving in New York, I met up with Kenny and we went to Bar Basque on 6th Ave and 30th Street. The mood was swanky and I enjoyed the vino rojo that that bartender recommended. Kenny had scotch, per usual. We ordered tapas and they were delicious, though I don't know if I would ever willingly pay $6.50 for a bite of fish. The bathrooms were black, red and chrome... something like out of an Iron Man movie. Then, I hopped on the PATH to Newark and hung out with Savita and Meera for the first time since my birthday party. We had dinner at Sushi Palace with Saad and then went back to Savita's apartment to talk in bed. It was so easy. I miss them on the daily.
Sunday morning, we got driven back to Newark Penn. I arrived in the city at 10 am. I went to Starbucks (Hanover doesn't have a legit Starbucks....) and then met up with Liz in SoHo. We walked up to Bleecker and Laf to have brunch at the NoHo Star. I ordered the Idaho breakfast: two eggs (sunnyside up), toast, potato pancakes and a side of fresh greens (in replacement of the sausage). Then we meandered around SoHo after Liz got her own cup of coffee. I was pleasantly surprised to discover she also puts cinnamon in her coffee! :) We walked around until my Apple Genius Bar appointment at 1 and got new headphones because mine ceased to work. We meandered up to Washington Square and NYU to FIND OUT THAT THE CONSTRUCTION AT WARREN WEAVER HALL IS DONE in addition to DASHING DIVA, JOHNNY ROCKETS, AND A WHOLE BUNCH OF STORES AND RESTAURANTS HAVE CLOSED. We continued walking until we reached the West Village where we went to Yogurtland off Bleecker and Morton somewhere and FOUND OUT IT WAS UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT after Liz bought some stuff at American Apparel. Sad. I got some pumpkin and strawberry froyo with a dusting of graham cracker and blueberries. Then, we walked to Union Square to check out the holiday market. I FOUND OUT THAT THE V HAS BEEN REPLACED BY THE M AS WE WALKED BY THE 14TH ST/7TH AVE SUBWAY STATION. After that, we went to Barnes and Nobles so I could check out the book for Book Club. Love is a Four-Letter Word did not seem very good... so we browsed through Post Secrets: Life, Death and God. So amazing. Then she met up with her boyfriend and I met up with Jess at Stern. At 6:30, I headed to the 8th Street/Broadway uptown NRQ (NOT W, which HAS STOPPED RUNNING) station. Ken met me at the stop and we walked around Williamsburg until we went back to the apartment to watch TiMER and eat the chocolate peanut butter cookies he made. Both were perfect. At 10ish, I headed back into the city and went to Jess's apartment and chilled out over girl talk, the conversation - not the music. At least spending time with these people feel the same; I'm grateful for this constant.
Friday, November 19, 2010
"'Both,' Garp wrote, 'were of the opinion that the practice of law was vulgar, but the study of if was sublime."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
[7:17 am] IT IS SNOWING.
In 43 minutes: Physio. Me. The last round.
I hope we can co-exist...
[10:43 am] I AM DONE. I AM DONE. I AM DONE. I hope I passed. Let the vegging out and sleep compensation begin!
[a little bit later than that] I just got the best e-mail of the semester. All my fears have been vanquished and it is all due to one man and his incredible support despite my desperate attempts to succeed.
Jocelyn came over and we hung out for a bit before Chris drove her to Harry Potter. Dinner with Robert, Wes, Dan and Jonathon was a good time. We had potatoes and spinach and the boys had chicken whilst sipping on an assortment of beers. Dan drove me to Wendy's and we got FROSTIES. It was awesome.
---
"They were not so comforting when they came.
'Break your mother's heart,' said one.
'If you'd only stayed at Wellesley,' said the other.
'A girl alone has to protect herself,' Jenny said. 'What could be more proper?'"
[7:17 am] IT IS SNOWING.
In 43 minutes: Physio. Me. The last round.
I hope we can co-exist...
[10:43 am] I AM DONE. I AM DONE. I AM DONE. I hope I passed. Let the vegging out and sleep compensation begin!
[a little bit later than that] I just got the best e-mail of the semester. All my fears have been vanquished and it is all due to one man and his incredible support despite my desperate attempts to succeed.
Jocelyn came over and we hung out for a bit before Chris drove her to Harry Potter. Dinner with Robert, Wes, Dan and Jonathon was a good time. We had potatoes and spinach and the boys had chicken whilst sipping on an assortment of beers. Dan drove me to Wendy's and we got FROSTIES. It was awesome.
---
"They were not so comforting when they came.
'Break your mother's heart,' said one.
'If you'd only stayed at Wellesley,' said the other.
'A girl alone has to protect herself,' Jenny said. 'What could be more proper?'"
Thursday, November 18, 2010
"'That's a real mean little weapon, honey,' a third told her. 'You shouldn't carry something like that around with you. That's asking for trouble.'"
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Thanksgiving break, you couldn't have come sooner.
Friday. alcohol.
Saturday. NYC with Justin. Ken?
Sunday. Jess?
Monday. Emily.
Tuesday. Book club. NJ.
Wednesday. HOME.
Thursday. Thanksgiving.
Friday. Shopping.
Saturday. Sleep.
Sunday. Hanover.
"You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there"
-Bruno Mars
---
"So Jenny waited for her brothers to clear things up. They were law school men from Cambridge, across the river. One was a law school, the other one taught in the law school."
Thanksgiving break, you couldn't have come sooner.
Friday. alcohol.
Saturday. NYC with Justin. Ken?
Sunday. Jess?
Monday. Emily.
Tuesday. Book club. NJ.
Wednesday. HOME.
Thursday. Thanksgiving.
Friday. Shopping.
Saturday. Sleep.
Sunday. Hanover.
"You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there"
-Bruno Mars
---
"So Jenny waited for her brothers to clear things up. They were law school men from Cambridge, across the river. One was a law school, the other one taught in the law school."
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
"'You been dating this guy long?' the first one asked her, en route to the precinct station."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
on repeat: Gwyneth Paltrow's cameo on Glee
So last night, I didn't go out to eat, Tessa offered to drive me home and we talked about some non-medical school related things, which was a delight. I had a veggie burger with spinach and rice before walking back to school to catch some UV light from the SAD lamp and then studying with Keith in the conference room about the abdomen. He drove me home. This morning, I studied some embryology with Nick at Umpleby's (unlimited coffee refills!) before I went to DHMC to meet with Dr. Bartlett. We had a good time talking about respiratory physiology - something I kind of remember. Then I went to the 7th floor conference room with Menaka, Yike, Ken and David. It was a lot of fun with them, I hope we spend more time together. Then, Menaka just drove me home as we pseudo-studied the embryology of the UG system.
Don't you just hate when you can't articulate the words you want to say without seeming too revealing of something - one way or another. On the one hand, if you tell the truth, you can just end up flat on your face. If you lie by omission, you will never really know if things would have gone your way. But at the end of the day - you won't really know until you try, will you?
---
"And another one asked her, later, 'But how did you know he was going to attack you? He says he was just trying to introduce himself."
on repeat: Gwyneth Paltrow's cameo on Glee
So last night, I didn't go out to eat, Tessa offered to drive me home and we talked about some non-medical school related things, which was a delight. I had a veggie burger with spinach and rice before walking back to school to catch some UV light from the SAD lamp and then studying with Keith in the conference room about the abdomen. He drove me home. This morning, I studied some embryology with Nick at Umpleby's (unlimited coffee refills!) before I went to DHMC to meet with Dr. Bartlett. We had a good time talking about respiratory physiology - something I kind of remember. Then I went to the 7th floor conference room with Menaka, Yike, Ken and David. It was a lot of fun with them, I hope we spend more time together. Then, Menaka just drove me home as we pseudo-studied the embryology of the UG system.
Don't you just hate when you can't articulate the words you want to say without seeming too revealing of something - one way or another. On the one hand, if you tell the truth, you can just end up flat on your face. If you lie by omission, you will never really know if things would have gone your way. But at the end of the day - you won't really know until you try, will you?
---
"And another one asked her, later, 'But how did you know he was going to attack you? He says he was just trying to introduce himself."
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
"Someone was a nurse, and she went to lend what assistance she could."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
CTO DONE.
I confused the ductus deferens with the epidydimis on the slide. There were no pseudostratified columnar cells to be seen, but I just saw the three muscles of the dd and thought of the latter. Oh well, at least I got the colon one right. I went for a quick run but felt guilty not to be studying so I went home to eat lunch and read CV physiology.
PHYSIO AND ANATOMY LEFT... I may join Derek, Joe and Ilya for dinner at Salt Hill. But there is so much anatomy to learn... so many muscles and nerves and blood vessels...
Round 3: Human Anatomy and Embryology, Thursday 8 am.
---
"When the soldier saw her, he fainted; it was not really from loss of blood. Jenny knew how facial wounds bled; they were deceptive. The deeper gash on his arm was of course in need of immediate attention, but the solider was not bleeding to death. No one but Jenny seemed to know that--there was so much blood, and so much of it was on her white nurse's uniform. They quickly realized she had done it. The theater lackeys would not let her touch the fainted soldier, and someone took her purse from her. The mad nurse! The crazed slasher! Jenny Fields was calm. She thought it was only a matter of waiting for the true authorities to comprehend the situation. But the police were not very nice to her either."
CTO DONE.
I confused the ductus deferens with the epidydimis on the slide. There were no pseudostratified columnar cells to be seen, but I just saw the three muscles of the dd and thought of the latter. Oh well, at least I got the colon one right. I went for a quick run but felt guilty not to be studying so I went home to eat lunch and read CV physiology.
PHYSIO AND ANATOMY LEFT... I may join Derek, Joe and Ilya for dinner at Salt Hill. But there is so much anatomy to learn... so many muscles and nerves and blood vessels...
Round 3: Human Anatomy and Embryology, Thursday 8 am.
---
"When the soldier saw her, he fainted; it was not really from loss of blood. Jenny knew how facial wounds bled; they were deceptive. The deeper gash on his arm was of course in need of immediate attention, but the solider was not bleeding to death. No one but Jenny seemed to know that--there was so much blood, and so much of it was on her white nurse's uniform. They quickly realized she had done it. The theater lackeys would not let her touch the fainted soldier, and someone took her purse from her. The mad nurse! The crazed slasher! Jenny Fields was calm. She thought it was only a matter of waiting for the true authorities to comprehend the situation. But the police were not very nice to her either."
Monday, November 15, 2010
"Jenny wiped her scalpel on the movie seat, returned it to her purse, and covered the blade with the thermometer cap."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Biochem donneeeee around 10 am. I had a bagel with cream cheese, supplied by the department. I also snacked on an apple and banana throughout the test. I went to the anatomy lab before going to the HAE office take practice quizzes for CTO and HAE. Then I went to the CTO lab with Menaka and looked at slides. There are so many... After eating my heart's content in chocolate and looking at slides, I went home to have some macaroni and cheese with tuna and spinach. SO GOOD. I had so much food today... I am so excited to finally go for a run tomorrow for the first time in a long long time.
THESE SLIDES ALL LOOK THE SAME.
Round 2: cto/histology... 8 am.
---
"Then she went to the lobby, where keen wailings could be heard and the manager was calling through the lobby doors over the dark audience, 'Is there a doctor here? Please! Is someone a doctor?'"
Biochem donneeeee around 10 am. I had a bagel with cream cheese, supplied by the department. I also snacked on an apple and banana throughout the test. I went to the anatomy lab before going to the HAE office take practice quizzes for CTO and HAE. Then I went to the CTO lab with Menaka and looked at slides. There are so many... After eating my heart's content in chocolate and looking at slides, I went home to have some macaroni and cheese with tuna and spinach. SO GOOD. I had so much food today... I am so excited to finally go for a run tomorrow for the first time in a long long time.
THESE SLIDES ALL LOOK THE SAME.
Round 2: cto/histology... 8 am.
---
"Then she went to the lobby, where keen wailings could be heard and the manager was calling through the lobby doors over the dark audience, 'Is there a doctor here? Please! Is someone a doctor?'"
Sunday, November 14, 2010
"Crying, on all fours, the soldier groped his way to the theater aisle and headed toward the safety of the light in the lobby."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Today I opened my backdoor and enjoyed the brisk fall day. And then closed it promptly to resume studying. I woke up like an icicle and went downstairs to set up camp in my living room with the more energy-efficient propane gas heater blasting, since that's the one we turn on anyway. I had whole wheat toast with butter and jelly and an activia yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, I had macaroni and blue cheese with tuna and spinach mixed in. For dinner, I had soup and some of Robert's calzones. I also caught up on Grey's Anatomy and with Meera, Savita and Ashley at different times. That was the extent of my day...
I miss talking about non-medical school related things.
Round 1: biochem, 8 am.
---
"Someone else in the theater was whimpering, in fright."
Today I opened my backdoor and enjoyed the brisk fall day. And then closed it promptly to resume studying. I woke up like an icicle and went downstairs to set up camp in my living room with the more energy-efficient propane gas heater blasting, since that's the one we turn on anyway. I had whole wheat toast with butter and jelly and an activia yogurt for breakfast. For lunch, I had macaroni and blue cheese with tuna and spinach mixed in. For dinner, I had soup and some of Robert's calzones. I also caught up on Grey's Anatomy and with Meera, Savita and Ashley at different times. That was the extent of my day...
I miss talking about non-medical school related things.
Round 1: biochem, 8 am.
---
"Someone else in the theater was whimpering, in fright."
Saturday, November 13, 2010
"The soldier screamed."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
-"SERGEY - HOW WILL I EVER LEARN ALL OF THIS TO PASS??!!?!?"
-"You're going to pass. You have so little fun, that I'm not even worried. If you were having fun, I would be like, 'dude, you should study.'"
The perks of living with non-medical school students. They keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. Today, my cousin Tony is getting married. The sun is shining. There are abundant opportunities to seize the day! However, I am not witnessing holy matrimony or catching some rays or seizing any opportunities. I am sitting in my house, studying epigenetics and histology and dabbling in some anatomy. I don't know who Randy Travis is, but I am glad he drinks cold beer. AND PHYSIOLOGY? I think I have forgotten what that is.. but because it is on Friday, I haven't even begun to look at it. One day at a time...
Ah, Robert is one of my favorites, too. He always helps me study muscle charts for anatomy and makes kickass food (with my vegetarianism in mind, too). He's just genuinely a good person. This morning, he was worried about my bloody phlegm and offered to drive me somewhere if I needed to see a doctor. Then, he invited me to go to Molly's with him and his dept tonight. When I was debating whether or not I should leave Friday night vs. Saturday, he said that I should stay an extra night so we roomies could all hang out. The roommate situation is awesome, indeed.
Haha, Ryan G. makes medical school so much better:
---
"On his feet and falling back, he swiped at Jenny's head with his uncut arm, boxing her ear so sharply that her head sang. She pawed at him with the scalpel, removing a piece of his upper lip the approximate shape and thinness of a thumbnail. ('I was not trying to slash his throat,' she told the police, later. 'I was trying to cut his nose off, but I missed.')"
-"SERGEY - HOW WILL I EVER LEARN ALL OF THIS TO PASS??!!?!?"
-"You're going to pass. You have so little fun, that I'm not even worried. If you were having fun, I would be like, 'dude, you should study.'"
The perks of living with non-medical school students. They keep my feet firmly planted on the ground. Today, my cousin Tony is getting married. The sun is shining. There are abundant opportunities to seize the day! However, I am not witnessing holy matrimony or catching some rays or seizing any opportunities. I am sitting in my house, studying epigenetics and histology and dabbling in some anatomy. I don't know who Randy Travis is, but I am glad he drinks cold beer. AND PHYSIOLOGY? I think I have forgotten what that is.. but because it is on Friday, I haven't even begun to look at it. One day at a time...
Ah, Robert is one of my favorites, too. He always helps me study muscle charts for anatomy and makes kickass food (with my vegetarianism in mind, too). He's just genuinely a good person. This morning, he was worried about my bloody phlegm and offered to drive me somewhere if I needed to see a doctor. Then, he invited me to go to Molly's with him and his dept tonight. When I was debating whether or not I should leave Friday night vs. Saturday, he said that I should stay an extra night so we roomies could all hang out. The roommate situation is awesome, indeed.
Haha, Ryan G. makes medical school so much better:
"On his feet and falling back, he swiped at Jenny's head with his uncut arm, boxing her ear so sharply that her head sang. She pawed at him with the scalpel, removing a piece of his upper lip the approximate shape and thinness of a thumbnail. ('I was not trying to slash his throat,' she told the police, later. 'I was trying to cut his nose off, but I missed.')"
Thursday, November 11, 2010
"'Oh, come on,' the soldier moaned, and his hand shot quickly under her uniform; he found her thighs locked together--he found his whole arm, from his shoulder to his wrist, suddenly sliced open like a soft melon."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
(note: This is just the continuation of quotation from the book, I am not thinking these thoughts... nor using them as a representation of what I'm feeling...)
Yesterday was productive, kind of. I had woken up and gone to CTO lab to learn about the histology of the male reproductive system. Then I went to Dirt Cowboy to meet up with Nick and Ashley for a bit since we didn't have On Doc (it is postponed until further notice). I had a coffee with milk and a long almond biscotti that I dunked. Yum. Then I went to DHMC to meet up with Dr. Bartlett. He is really awesome and kind. Then I went to HAE lab to re-learn the back and upper extremity with June, Kai, Jyothi and Jeanie. It was productive with them, really thorough and engaging, too. Then I went to retake some CTO quizzes and then went home smelling of paraformaldehyde. I showered and passed out for a couple of hours before resuming my studies. I did not get through as much as I had hoped, but there is only so much time in a day - and I am going to start putting my sleep as a priority.
I'm taking deep breaths and taking one day at a time.
---
"Henny had cut cleanly through his insignia and his shirt, cleanly through his skin and muscles, baring his bones at the joint of his elbow. ('If I'd wanted to kill him,' she told the polic, later, 'I'd have slit his wrist. I'm a nurse. I know how people bleed.')"
(note: This is just the continuation of quotation from the book, I am not thinking these thoughts... nor using them as a representation of what I'm feeling...)
Yesterday was productive, kind of. I had woken up and gone to CTO lab to learn about the histology of the male reproductive system. Then I went to Dirt Cowboy to meet up with Nick and Ashley for a bit since we didn't have On Doc (it is postponed until further notice). I had a coffee with milk and a long almond biscotti that I dunked. Yum. Then I went to DHMC to meet up with Dr. Bartlett. He is really awesome and kind. Then I went to HAE lab to re-learn the back and upper extremity with June, Kai, Jyothi and Jeanie. It was productive with them, really thorough and engaging, too. Then I went to retake some CTO quizzes and then went home smelling of paraformaldehyde. I showered and passed out for a couple of hours before resuming my studies. I did not get through as much as I had hoped, but there is only so much time in a day - and I am going to start putting my sleep as a priority.
I'm taking deep breaths and taking one day at a time.
---
"Henny had cut cleanly through his insignia and his shirt, cleanly through his skin and muscles, baring his bones at the joint of his elbow. ('If I'd wanted to kill him,' she told the polic, later, 'I'd have slit his wrist. I'm a nurse. I know how people bleed.')"
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
"'My mother, Garp, wrote, went through her life on the lookout for purse-snatchers and snatch-snatchers.'"
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
You can do it.
...and you will next week.
Don't compare yourself to anyone and do what works for you. (Q, you really can.)
---
"In the theater, it was not her purse that the soldier wanted. He touched her knee. Jenny spoke up fairly clearly. 'Get your stinking hand off me,' she said. Several people turned around."
You can do it.
...and you will next week.
Don't compare yourself to anyone and do what works for you. (Q, you really can.)
---
"In the theater, it was not her purse that the soldier wanted. He touched her knee. Jenny spoke up fairly clearly. 'Get your stinking hand off me,' she said. Several people turned around."
Monday, November 8, 2010
"It was this cap she removed when the soldier moved into the seat beside her and stretched his arm along the armrest they were (absurdly) meant to share."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Quiz 6 done.
I love how some people can take one look at you know what you need. Like today - with come hither hand gestures and a big hug. That makes me happy. I then went to the gym and ran a few laps. Sleep deprivation kept me at a slow pace but at least I finished my workout.
Around noon, I met up with Nicole at Umpleby's for lunch - the french onion soup is so good! Her house salad looked yummy, too - I love small cafes and good company - but when you put them TOGETHER??! Amazing. Nicole, you have so many great qualities I admire, especially your sense of optimism and happiness despite it being an imperfect world.
Then, I went to class and afterward, sat in front of the SAD lamp for 20 minutes. Eventually, I went with Chris, Paul and Regina to our last dance class! I loved seeing everyone dressed up - all dancing to songs ranging from classical foxtrot to Lady Antebellum's Need You Now.
---
"His long hand dangled off the end of the armrest; it twitched like the flank of a horse shuddering the flies away. Jenny kept her hand on the scalpel inside her purse; with her other hand, she held the purse tightly in her white lap. She was imagining that her nurse's uniform shone like a holy shield, and for her some perverse reason this vermin beside her had been attracted by her light."
Quiz 6 done.
I love how some people can take one look at you know what you need. Like today - with come hither hand gestures and a big hug. That makes me happy. I then went to the gym and ran a few laps. Sleep deprivation kept me at a slow pace but at least I finished my workout.
Around noon, I met up with Nicole at Umpleby's for lunch - the french onion soup is so good! Her house salad looked yummy, too - I love small cafes and good company - but when you put them TOGETHER??! Amazing. Nicole, you have so many great qualities I admire, especially your sense of optimism and happiness despite it being an imperfect world.
Then, I went to class and afterward, sat in front of the SAD lamp for 20 minutes. Eventually, I went with Chris, Paul and Regina to our last dance class! I loved seeing everyone dressed up - all dancing to songs ranging from classical foxtrot to Lady Antebellum's Need You Now.
---
"His long hand dangled off the end of the armrest; it twitched like the flank of a horse shuddering the flies away. Jenny kept her hand on the scalpel inside her purse; with her other hand, she held the purse tightly in her white lap. She was imagining that her nurse's uniform shone like a holy shield, and for her some perverse reason this vermin beside her had been attracted by her light."
Sunday, November 7, 2010
"At first it had slashed up the little silk pockets of her purse."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Today, I basically learned CTO (histology) for the first time today while sipping day old coffee. It was overwhelming, but with combined efforts of gchats and texts, I think I figured most of it out. Thanks guys :)
I am so glad I live with the guys I live with. Last night, Wes and I chatted about random things over an Oktoberfest beer each. And then today, he played me guitar - alternating from easy listening to heavy metal - which definitely reminded me to smell the roses. I wish I took my mother's desire for me to learn piano more seriously. Music and dance mesmerize me. It fixes me a lot of the time.
I went to the gym and forgot my ID so I ran laps around the indoor track. 13 laps make up a mile, and in my mind, I collected a card until I completed the whole deck. I cannot run on a treadmill because I get bored, and running on the Hanover hills outside intimidates me... I never thought about running on a flat track. It was the perfect balance; I especially loved watching the volleyball players on the tier below me. The entire time I was wondering why I would run around an ellipse 52 times, but then I counter-thought that stopping was possible at any point. In the larger scheme of things, when things get too hard, you can stop at any point. We are where we are because we want to be. We are privileged to be sweating over each step as we run or each difficult concept as we learn; we are doing these things because we choose to do it. I take my freewill for granted sometimes.
At the end of whatever difficult journey, we can be proud we finished what we started doing. But, we don't have to if we don't want to. Sometimes, it takes a lot of strength to leave than it does to stay. To be on a path is a lot safer than to change course once you realize you are not going where you want to go. I commend those who risk the unknown.
When I left, I ran into Johann as he was coming and Nick as he was going. We took a moment to appreciate the orange and pink glow of the sunset. Then Nick and I walked the other way to see the pink and blue horizon on the other side, enveloping us as if we were in a snowglobe. Take a deep breath: if it doesn't go as planned, at least you can always count on another sunset.
---
"Then she had found an old thermometer container that had slipped over the head of the scalpel, capping it like a fountain pen."
Today, I basically learned CTO (histology) for the first time today while sipping day old coffee. It was overwhelming, but with combined efforts of gchats and texts, I think I figured most of it out. Thanks guys :)
I am so glad I live with the guys I live with. Last night, Wes and I chatted about random things over an Oktoberfest beer each. And then today, he played me guitar - alternating from easy listening to heavy metal - which definitely reminded me to smell the roses. I wish I took my mother's desire for me to learn piano more seriously. Music and dance mesmerize me. It fixes me a lot of the time.
I went to the gym and forgot my ID so I ran laps around the indoor track. 13 laps make up a mile, and in my mind, I collected a card until I completed the whole deck. I cannot run on a treadmill because I get bored, and running on the Hanover hills outside intimidates me... I never thought about running on a flat track. It was the perfect balance; I especially loved watching the volleyball players on the tier below me. The entire time I was wondering why I would run around an ellipse 52 times, but then I counter-thought that stopping was possible at any point. In the larger scheme of things, when things get too hard, you can stop at any point. We are where we are because we want to be. We are privileged to be sweating over each step as we run or each difficult concept as we learn; we are doing these things because we choose to do it. I take my freewill for granted sometimes.
At the end of whatever difficult journey, we can be proud we finished what we started doing. But, we don't have to if we don't want to. Sometimes, it takes a lot of strength to leave than it does to stay. To be on a path is a lot safer than to change course once you realize you are not going where you want to go. I commend those who risk the unknown.
When I left, I ran into Johann as he was coming and Nick as he was going. We took a moment to appreciate the orange and pink glow of the sunset. Then Nick and I walked the other way to see the pink and blue horizon on the other side, enveloping us as if we were in a snowglobe. Take a deep breath: if it doesn't go as planned, at least you can always count on another sunset.
---
"Then she had found an old thermometer container that had slipped over the head of the scalpel, capping it like a fountain pen."
Saturday, November 6, 2010
"'My mother', Garp wrote, 'was not romantically inclined.'"
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
I tried to sleep in, but I woke up in the middle of the night for micturition. I couldn't sleep well after that, but I just made myself a delicious breakfast with toast, eggs, spinach, and gouda. On one slice of toast, I also put peanut butter and grape jelly - as a yummy dessert. I'm looking at this novel in desperate want of reading it... or www.abc.com to catch up on the past three Grey's Anatomy episodes. Maybe I can do it as a break later, but for now I must learn about cancer, the pelvis and perineum, and a whole bunch of cells that all look the same to me. We just have to keep going - we can do this. Let us make ourselves bigger than what we thought we could be.
"If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger. "
-Hubert Humphrey
Just two more weeks until Thanksgiving break! I look forward to hanging out with Savita, Meera, Jess, Phi, Ken S., Emily, my cousin Kenny, Jena, Kathryn, Amy, Christine, Rich, and of course my entire family - minus one. I still miss you when I think of you, PB.
---
"When the soldier in the movie theater first started changing seats--when he made his first move for her--Jenny Fields felt that the Valentine treatment would be just the thing for him. But she didn't have an irrigator with her; it was much too large for her purse. It also required the considerable cooperation of the patient. What she did have with her was a scalpel; she carried it with her all the time. She had not stolen it from surgery either; it was a castaway scalpel with a deep nick taken out of the point (it had probably been dropped on the floor, or in a sink)--it was no good for fine work, but it was not for fine work that Jenny wanted it."
I tried to sleep in, but I woke up in the middle of the night for micturition. I couldn't sleep well after that, but I just made myself a delicious breakfast with toast, eggs, spinach, and gouda. On one slice of toast, I also put peanut butter and grape jelly - as a yummy dessert. I'm looking at this novel in desperate want of reading it... or www.abc.com to catch up on the past three Grey's Anatomy episodes. Maybe I can do it as a break later, but for now I must learn about cancer, the pelvis and perineum, and a whole bunch of cells that all look the same to me. We just have to keep going - we can do this. Let us make ourselves bigger than what we thought we could be.
"If there is dissatisfaction with the status quo, good. If there is ferment, so much the better. If there is restlessness, I am pleased. Then let there be ideas, and hard thought, and hard work. If man feels small, let man make himself bigger. "
-Hubert Humphrey
Just two more weeks until Thanksgiving break! I look forward to hanging out with Savita, Meera, Jess, Phi, Ken S., Emily, my cousin Kenny, Jena, Kathryn, Amy, Christine, Rich, and of course my entire family - minus one. I still miss you when I think of you, PB.
---
"When the soldier in the movie theater first started changing seats--when he made his first move for her--Jenny Fields felt that the Valentine treatment would be just the thing for him. But she didn't have an irrigator with her; it was much too large for her purse. It also required the considerable cooperation of the patient. What she did have with her was a scalpel; she carried it with her all the time. She had not stolen it from surgery either; it was a castaway scalpel with a deep nick taken out of the point (it had probably been dropped on the floor, or in a sink)--it was no good for fine work, but it was not for fine work that Jenny wanted it."
Friday, November 5, 2010
"It was a simple procedure that could force as much as one hundred cc's of fluid up the penis and through the surprised urethra before it all came back, but the procedure left everyone feeling a bit raw."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Learning material on the Friday before our Monday quizzes is stressful. I went to lecture a bit late, but was happy to have a seat saved for me by Keith - extra clicker in hand. Learning about the urogenital triangle was interesting... I appreciate the gender differences a bit more. In lab, Bijan, Dan, Quynh and I were a bit frustrated about the attention our professor seems to give everyone else but us. Oh well - at least Dr. J.Lyons had a huge pelvic model where we learned about the organ, nerve, and membrane layers. A few small children could fit into it, and I would like to make my own hahah - let me know if you're interested in helping me with this endeavor.
Lunch was good, I had a Morning Star veggie burger with whole wheat bread and chocolates for dessert. I got to sit near Quynh though we didn't have much time to chat. I read through some biochemistry and worked on the problem set before class. Then, I studied physio before going to the HAE review. It was a bit overwhelming because I haven't had the time to go through the material of the urogenital triangle... considering we just learned it this morning. I went to the gym and took a couple physiology quizzes. I passed! We'll see how I do on Monday.
---
"The man who invented a device for this method of treatment was named Valentine, and his device was called the Valentine irrigator. Long after Dr. Valentine's irrigator was improved, or replaced with another irrigation device, the nurses at Boston Mercy still referred to the procedure as the Valentine treatment--an appropriate punishment for a lover, thought Jenny Fields."
Learning material on the Friday before our Monday quizzes is stressful. I went to lecture a bit late, but was happy to have a seat saved for me by Keith - extra clicker in hand. Learning about the urogenital triangle was interesting... I appreciate the gender differences a bit more. In lab, Bijan, Dan, Quynh and I were a bit frustrated about the attention our professor seems to give everyone else but us. Oh well - at least Dr. J.Lyons had a huge pelvic model where we learned about the organ, nerve, and membrane layers. A few small children could fit into it, and I would like to make my own hahah - let me know if you're interested in helping me with this endeavor.
Lunch was good, I had a Morning Star veggie burger with whole wheat bread and chocolates for dessert. I got to sit near Quynh though we didn't have much time to chat. I read through some biochemistry and worked on the problem set before class. Then, I studied physio before going to the HAE review. It was a bit overwhelming because I haven't had the time to go through the material of the urogenital triangle... considering we just learned it this morning. I went to the gym and took a couple physiology quizzes. I passed! We'll see how I do on Monday.
---
"The man who invented a device for this method of treatment was named Valentine, and his device was called the Valentine irrigator. Long after Dr. Valentine's irrigator was improved, or replaced with another irrigation device, the nurses at Boston Mercy still referred to the procedure as the Valentine treatment--an appropriate punishment for a lover, thought Jenny Fields."
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
"The other peter treatment was local and also required a lot of fluid."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
Today I woke up groggily to a gray sky with little snow flakes falling out of it. When I walked to class, I could see my breath and the blanketing frost on the grass. The dullness was contrasted by the remaining yellow and orange leaves on the deciduous trees that were holding their own in this war of attrition with winter. It was something out of an oil painting of a rural scene.
Class was really interesting. I enjoy biochemistry with Dr. Compton teaching the most, and I enjoy physiology with Dr. Manning teaching the most. On Doc was fun, as Dr. O'Donnell palpated my abdomen, I could not help giggling out of control - especially when he was scratching along my side trying to hear the inferior border of my liver through the stethoscope. I enjoyed lunch with Ken and Paul. Paul gave me grapes, cuts of apple, triscuits, peanut butter and Halloween-themed Oreos. It was good enough of a lunch for me. I went to the library and studied until I could not focus. I worked out, but before doing so I had a five second conversation with Dave who helped me put my rose colored glasses back on. It could be better, but it could be worse. Then went home to clean my bathroom and take out the recyclables. Living with three boys can be hella difficult, but at the same time - I really like them.
---
"Jenny frequently assisted with this method of disinfecting, because the patient required lots of attention at the time; sometimes, in fact, he needed to be held."
Today I woke up groggily to a gray sky with little snow flakes falling out of it. When I walked to class, I could see my breath and the blanketing frost on the grass. The dullness was contrasted by the remaining yellow and orange leaves on the deciduous trees that were holding their own in this war of attrition with winter. It was something out of an oil painting of a rural scene.
Class was really interesting. I enjoy biochemistry with Dr. Compton teaching the most, and I enjoy physiology with Dr. Manning teaching the most. On Doc was fun, as Dr. O'Donnell palpated my abdomen, I could not help giggling out of control - especially when he was scratching along my side trying to hear the inferior border of my liver through the stethoscope. I enjoyed lunch with Ken and Paul. Paul gave me grapes, cuts of apple, triscuits, peanut butter and Halloween-themed Oreos. It was good enough of a lunch for me. I went to the library and studied until I could not focus. I worked out, but before doing so I had a five second conversation with Dave who helped me put my rose colored glasses back on. It could be better, but it could be worse. Then went home to clean my bathroom and take out the recyclables. Living with three boys can be hella difficult, but at the same time - I really like them.
---
"Jenny frequently assisted with this method of disinfecting, because the patient required lots of attention at the time; sometimes, in fact, he needed to be held."
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
"Sulfathiazole was for the clap--with lots of water recommended."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
[2:44 pm at DHMC] As I sit in this one-sie couch in the sun, I am thinking about my meeting with Dr. Bartlett. It was amazing to go over the concepts and finally feel the distinction between frustration and understanding. I feel like the previous quizzes have mostly been determined by the inability to read and understand what was being asked of me. Going through the concepts of ventilation and perfusion, I explained things back and heard, "That is exactly right." as a response. I feel more hopeful. Listening to Don McLean's American Pie is also quite appropriate... it's upbeat and somehow optimistic; I am feeling that way.
If you ever feel doubtful, just repeat this:
I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok.
I can, I can, I can.
You will find that it isn't so hard to believe.
[a few hours later at home] Today I learned some physio and then went late to a talk at the AVA in Lebanon about screening and racial disparities. It was interesting to hear about the discussion between efficiency and equality. Julia, Devang and I stuck around to attend Dr. Koop's art gallery exhibit with all the comics written ABOUT HIM when he was surgeon general. IT WAS SO COOL. Currently, I'm baking pumpkin bread - I can't seem to focus.
What I'm feeling now is expressed perfectly by Chris Martin:
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
---
"For syphilis, in the days before penicillin, they used neoarsphenamine; Jenny Field thought that this was the epitome of all that sex could lead to--to introduce arsenic into the human chemistry, to try to clean the chemistry up."
[2:44 pm at DHMC] As I sit in this one-sie couch in the sun, I am thinking about my meeting with Dr. Bartlett. It was amazing to go over the concepts and finally feel the distinction between frustration and understanding. I feel like the previous quizzes have mostly been determined by the inability to read and understand what was being asked of me. Going through the concepts of ventilation and perfusion, I explained things back and heard, "That is exactly right." as a response. I feel more hopeful. Listening to Don McLean's American Pie is also quite appropriate... it's upbeat and somehow optimistic; I am feeling that way.
If you ever feel doubtful, just repeat this:
I'm ok. I'm ok. I'm ok.
I can, I can, I can.
You will find that it isn't so hard to believe.
[a few hours later at home] Today I learned some physio and then went late to a talk at the AVA in Lebanon about screening and racial disparities. It was interesting to hear about the discussion between efficiency and equality. Julia, Devang and I stuck around to attend Dr. Koop's art gallery exhibit with all the comics written ABOUT HIM when he was surgeon general. IT WAS SO COOL. Currently, I'm baking pumpkin bread - I can't seem to focus.
What I'm feeling now is expressed perfectly by Chris Martin:
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
---
"For syphilis, in the days before penicillin, they used neoarsphenamine; Jenny Field thought that this was the epitome of all that sex could lead to--to introduce arsenic into the human chemistry, to try to clean the chemistry up."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
"Most peter treatment that Jenny saw was done to soldiers."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
This weekend was amazing. Friday night was homecoming, the bonfire was so great and enormous. I got to watch it in the presence of great people with whom I could laugh, hug and share body heat. Special thanks to Quynh, David and Nick haha. Then we went to Dewey Lot and hopped on a yellow school bus. We went to the Coolidge Hotel in WRJ. Good job distributing bracelets, Julia and Chris :)
The red wine was tasty and the DJ was awesome. I had a lot of fun dancing around - the sillier, the better. At midnight, we hopped back on the bus and I hung out at Nick's with the host, Ashley, Quynh and Jo Ling. It was awesome to sit around and talk about nothing in particular but have an amazing time. There was a cameo by Dan, which was stellar. Then at 2 am, Quynh drove me home before we met up again in the morning to the NP tailgating party. (Sadly, Dartmouth lost to Harvard). I had a veggie burger with an assortment of chips and carrots. Yum. I went to the library with Keith and eventually Chris. We got through a lot of interesting things - medical school related and not. Then my roommates convinced me to go out with then and we went to the Canoe Club. Wesley and Robert bought me a Allagash White beer each, and my verdict is that it is gingery and delicious.
This morning, I went with Wes to Price Chopper and bought ingredients to bake a pumpkin pie. It turned out spectacularly. If you ever find yourself in face of a watery batter, have no fear - it still comes out super wonderfully. Then tonight, we had our final dance lesson at our professor's house. Next week is our pseudo-semi-formal :) I just came back from the gym with a better mentality and an optimism for the week. Every day is a new day, as Emily wisely told me.
---
"The U.S. Army would not begin to benefit from the discovery of penicillin until 1943, and there were many soldiers who didn't get penicillin until 1945. At Boston Mercy, in the early days of 1942, peters were usually treated with sulfa and arsenic."
This weekend was amazing. Friday night was homecoming, the bonfire was so great and enormous. I got to watch it in the presence of great people with whom I could laugh, hug and share body heat. Special thanks to Quynh, David and Nick haha. Then we went to Dewey Lot and hopped on a yellow school bus. We went to the Coolidge Hotel in WRJ. Good job distributing bracelets, Julia and Chris :)
The red wine was tasty and the DJ was awesome. I had a lot of fun dancing around - the sillier, the better. At midnight, we hopped back on the bus and I hung out at Nick's with the host, Ashley, Quynh and Jo Ling. It was awesome to sit around and talk about nothing in particular but have an amazing time. There was a cameo by Dan, which was stellar. Then at 2 am, Quynh drove me home before we met up again in the morning to the NP tailgating party. (Sadly, Dartmouth lost to Harvard). I had a veggie burger with an assortment of chips and carrots. Yum. I went to the library with Keith and eventually Chris. We got through a lot of interesting things - medical school related and not. Then my roommates convinced me to go out with then and we went to the Canoe Club. Wesley and Robert bought me a Allagash White beer each, and my verdict is that it is gingery and delicious.
This morning, I went with Wes to Price Chopper and bought ingredients to bake a pumpkin pie. It turned out spectacularly. If you ever find yourself in face of a watery batter, have no fear - it still comes out super wonderfully. Then tonight, we had our final dance lesson at our professor's house. Next week is our pseudo-semi-formal :) I just came back from the gym with a better mentality and an optimism for the week. Every day is a new day, as Emily wisely told me.
---
"The U.S. Army would not begin to benefit from the discovery of penicillin until 1943, and there were many soldiers who didn't get penicillin until 1945. At Boston Mercy, in the early days of 1942, peters were usually treated with sulfa and arsenic."
Friday, October 29, 2010
"Few jokes were funny to Jenny Fields, and certainly not this one; no peter jokes for Jenny, who was staying clear of the issue."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
"me: what are your thoughts?
"me: what are your thoughts?
you could be be the cookie monster
or oscar the grouch
or snooki
David: Snooki is like #2 this yr
I should be the guy that punched snooki in the face. Then I can punch all the snookies!"
I loved the start of today. I wore my black sweater and peach skirt to fit in today's Friday theme of wearing black and orange for Halloween. Drs. Fab, V.Lyons, J.Lyons, and Catlin threw candy at us and we got so excited haha. I kind of love the homelessness that is medical school. As I walked down the aisle, I got a big hug from Nick, which always makes me feel better. We took a class picture of those who participated. Then in lab, Bijan, Dan, Quynh and I were pretty efficient and found everything we needed. Dr. J.Lyons came over after Dan and I high fived each other and wanted to participate. To see such a highly esteemed physician who used to be the head of surgery at Mass Gen high-five and pound us made my ENTIRE MONTH. I taught him how to pound and explode out - he lit up, which makes me light up. Dr. V.Lyons quizzed us and collectively, we knew all of the organs and fossas and ligaments in the pelvic cavity. Thank you Dan for saving us with naming the detrusor muscle (the smooth muscle in the bladder), I won't be forgetting that one anytime soon.
I loved the start of today. I wore my black sweater and peach skirt to fit in today's Friday theme of wearing black and orange for Halloween. Drs. Fab, V.Lyons, J.Lyons, and Catlin threw candy at us and we got so excited haha. I kind of love the homelessness that is medical school. As I walked down the aisle, I got a big hug from Nick, which always makes me feel better. We took a class picture of those who participated. Then in lab, Bijan, Dan, Quynh and I were pretty efficient and found everything we needed. Dr. J.Lyons came over after Dan and I high fived each other and wanted to participate. To see such a highly esteemed physician who used to be the head of surgery at Mass Gen high-five and pound us made my ENTIRE MONTH. I taught him how to pound and explode out - he lit up, which makes me light up. Dr. V.Lyons quizzed us and collectively, we knew all of the organs and fossas and ligaments in the pelvic cavity. Thank you Dan for saving us with naming the detrusor muscle (the smooth muscle in the bladder), I won't be forgetting that one anytime soon.
---
"She had seen the trouble peters could get into; babies were not the worst of it. Of course she saw people who didn't want to have babies, and they were sad that they were pregnant; they shouldn't have to have babies, Jenny thought--though she mainly felt sorry for the babies who were born. She saw people who wanted to have their babies, too, and they made her want to have one. One day, Jenny Fields though, she would like to have a baby--just one. But the trouble was that she wanted as little to do with a peter as possible, and nothing whatsoever to with a man."
Thursday, October 28, 2010
"'Hospital! Hospital!' he cried."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
I like days like these. I slept for 11 hours last night. I had felt sleepy and unproductive so I wanted to nap at 8 pm. I never woke up, and I slept through the night until 7 am this morning. I think it was needed. Sometimes I feel like I have been completely sleep deprived with a sheet of tiredness blurring everything I have to do - very much like the Claritin commercials. I felt clearer this morning, like I could sit through lectures, I wanted to talk to people and I felt like the day was something to soak up - rather than to just get through. The ob/gyn who came to talk to us during our core luncheon was amazing. I felt like all her "shortcomings" whether they were her empathy, perfectionist tendencies, or priority of family, were my own and I felt validated in having them. It's just a matter of finding a setting and people that will be opened to them. After class, Keith and I went Halloween shopping. It was a long road, but I think we managed to find some things that work. I had some chats with Emily, Meera, and Savita, which were needed - fyi guys, "Home is whenever I'm with you" and I think that will always be the case. Then Quynh came over for dinner and we talked about a lot of things, and I feel really good to connect to someone so well. It's nice to feel affirmed in a safe space. Above and below are pictures from Occum Pond, poor Paul - I made him point his finger and stay in that position because he had been pointing out the DOC house. I thought it looked adventurous in new terrains or something...
I love autumn.
---
"'The Peter Bent?' the cabby asked. That was the closest hospital. 'It's worse than bent,' the man moaned. 'I think Molly bit it off!'"
I like days like these. I slept for 11 hours last night. I had felt sleepy and unproductive so I wanted to nap at 8 pm. I never woke up, and I slept through the night until 7 am this morning. I think it was needed. Sometimes I feel like I have been completely sleep deprived with a sheet of tiredness blurring everything I have to do - very much like the Claritin commercials. I felt clearer this morning, like I could sit through lectures, I wanted to talk to people and I felt like the day was something to soak up - rather than to just get through. The ob/gyn who came to talk to us during our core luncheon was amazing. I felt like all her "shortcomings" whether they were her empathy, perfectionist tendencies, or priority of family, were my own and I felt validated in having them. It's just a matter of finding a setting and people that will be opened to them. After class, Keith and I went Halloween shopping. It was a long road, but I think we managed to find some things that work. I had some chats with Emily, Meera, and Savita, which were needed - fyi guys, "Home is whenever I'm with you" and I think that will always be the case. Then Quynh came over for dinner and we talked about a lot of things, and I feel really good to connect to someone so well. It's nice to feel affirmed in a safe space. Above and below are pictures from Occum Pond, poor Paul - I made him point his finger and stay in that position because he had been pointing out the DOC house. I thought it looked adventurous in new terrains or something...
I love autumn.
"'The Peter Bent?' the cabby asked. That was the closest hospital. 'It's worse than bent,' the man moaned. 'I think Molly bit it off!'"
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
"And another hospital was the Peter Bent Brigham, which was called the Peter Bent."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
I love days when:
your hair falls just the way you want it to.
the sun is shining.
you can help someone out.
someone helps you out.
someone tells you something new you didn't know before.
there are no pimples on your face.
you can sit with someone and talk about anything for hours.
the pressure to excel isn't too great.
when people know what you're feeling and can be there for you accordingly (I appreciate you, Jess and Quynh).
you have a moment where everything comes together.
you can reason things out.
someone waits for you.
you get a hug for no reason.
people show or tell you they care.
the person you need to talk to most picks up the phone.
...and I like remembering that there will be days like those again when I'm not feeling the like I'm having one of those days.
---
"One day, the joke goes, a Boston cab driver had his taxi hailed by a man who staggered off the curb toward him, almost dropping to his knees in the street. The man was purple in the face with pain; he was either strangling or holding his breath, so that talking was clearly difficult for him, and the cabby opened the door and helped him inside, where the man lay face down on the floor alongside the back seat, tucking his knees up to his chest."
I love days when:
your hair falls just the way you want it to.
the sun is shining.
you can help someone out.
someone helps you out.
someone tells you something new you didn't know before.
there are no pimples on your face.
you can sit with someone and talk about anything for hours.
the pressure to excel isn't too great.
when people know what you're feeling and can be there for you accordingly (I appreciate you, Jess and Quynh).
you have a moment where everything comes together.
you can reason things out.
someone waits for you.
you get a hug for no reason.
people show or tell you they care.
the person you need to talk to most picks up the phone.
...and I like remembering that there will be days like those again when I'm not feeling the like I'm having one of those days.
---
"One day, the joke goes, a Boston cab driver had his taxi hailed by a man who staggered off the curb toward him, almost dropping to his knees in the street. The man was purple in the face with pain; he was either strangling or holding his breath, so that talking was clearly difficult for him, and the cabby opened the door and helped him inside, where the man lay face down on the floor alongside the back seat, tucking his knees up to his chest."
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
"'My mother,' Garp wrote, 'was not one for making fine distinctions.'"
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
My preceptor is a family medicine doctor. On the daily, she sees patients with things ranging from scabies, annual physicals, and pain. I always feel like the last is tricky because you do not know if you are prescribing opiates to treat pain or to feed an addiction. My preceptor said that you have to trust your instinct and figure out whether you can rely on the information given to you by your patient. You can get burned. She has, but you have to do what you can to treat your patients, who may very well be confiding in you their pain and suffering.
Since I have to learn it, so should you. Bruits: turbulent blood flow causes vibration in blood vessels producing sound. Left ventricular pressure rises as left ventricle contracts and when LVP rises LAP, mitral valve closes. The S1 sound (lower pitched) is mitral valve closing and S2 (higher pitched) is aortic valve closing, aortic pressure rise distinguish sounds. Sternal Angle (of Louie) is continuous with second rib. The intercostal space on the right side is aortic area, left side is pulmonic area. The 3rd and 4th are known as tricuspid area or right ventricular area. Apex of heart is felt for apical impulse in 5th intercostal space. The base of heart is the pulmonic area and aortic area.
Palpation
Pulmonic Area: hypertension
Aortic: stenosis
Sternum: RV hypertrophy
Precordium (chest wall in front of heart): Apical impulse to palpate in intercostal spaces to feel it.
---
"One striking difference she might have seen between clams and people was that people had some sense of humor, but Jenny was not inclined toward humor. There was a popular joke among the nurses in Boston at that time, but it was not funny to Jenny Fields. The joke involved one of the other hospitals in Boston. The hospital Jenny worked in was Boston Mercy Hospital, which was called Boston Mercy; there was also Massachusetts General Hospital, which was called the Mass General."
My preceptor is a family medicine doctor. On the daily, she sees patients with things ranging from scabies, annual physicals, and pain. I always feel like the last is tricky because you do not know if you are prescribing opiates to treat pain or to feed an addiction. My preceptor said that you have to trust your instinct and figure out whether you can rely on the information given to you by your patient. You can get burned. She has, but you have to do what you can to treat your patients, who may very well be confiding in you their pain and suffering.
Since I have to learn it, so should you. Bruits: turbulent blood flow causes vibration in blood vessels producing sound. Left ventricular pressure rises as left ventricle contracts and when LVP rises LAP, mitral valve closes. The S1 sound (lower pitched) is mitral valve closing and S2 (higher pitched) is aortic valve closing, aortic pressure rise distinguish sounds. Sternal Angle (of Louie) is continuous with second rib. The intercostal space on the right side is aortic area, left side is pulmonic area. The 3rd and 4th are known as tricuspid area or right ventricular area. Apex of heart is felt for apical impulse in 5th intercostal space. The base of heart is the pulmonic area and aortic area.
Palpation
Pulmonic Area: hypertension
Aortic: stenosis
Sternum: RV hypertrophy
Precordium (chest wall in front of heart): Apical impulse to palpate in intercostal spaces to feel it.
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"One striking difference she might have seen between clams and people was that people had some sense of humor, but Jenny was not inclined toward humor. There was a popular joke among the nurses in Boston at that time, but it was not funny to Jenny Fields. The joke involved one of the other hospitals in Boston. The hospital Jenny worked in was Boston Mercy Hospital, which was called Boston Mercy; there was also Massachusetts General Hospital, which was called the Mass General."
Sunday, October 24, 2010
"Jenny asked for a book about clams."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
It's funny how things can work out. What seemingly seems obtainable can fall short and lie just beyond the tips of our fingers. I have gotten comfortable in my situation, which is pretty bad considering there are factors beyond the realm of DMS that dictate a lot more than I can control.
For now, all I feel I can do is quote:
"Love life, and life will love you back."
-Arthur Rubinstein
I had a plan today: to study, to work out, and to eat. I woke up at 8 and studied a bit but not long after, I fell asleep for two hours reading physiology notes. Waking up at 1 pm, I just decided the time spent napping replaced the time that I would have spent sweating it out. I made rice, broccoli and a vegetable burger patty from Boca's with sun-dried tomato Gouda cheese. Then studying some more, I got through a lot of what I wanted. I am so tired... I'd like to say it is a visceral pain radiating throughout my head and body. It is dull and unlocalized. It is hard to explain, except I'd much rather go to sleep than learn about signaling pathways and the anatomical structure of the kidney. I even did my laundry as a form of procrastination.
The weather gets me down when it rains. I feel pressure weighing heavily on my body, and it feels like a burden. Maybe it's the barometric pressure. Maybe it's the impending quizzes tomorrow. Maybe it's all in my head. I suppose you can't fully appreciate the sun without days like these.
---
"She read all about them: how they ate, how they bred, how they grew. It was the first live thing she understood completely--its life, its sex, its death. At Dog's Head Harbor, human beings were not that accessible. In the hospital, Jenny Fields felt she was making up for last time; she was discovering that people weren't much more mysterious, or much more attractive, than clams."
It's funny how things can work out. What seemingly seems obtainable can fall short and lie just beyond the tips of our fingers. I have gotten comfortable in my situation, which is pretty bad considering there are factors beyond the realm of DMS that dictate a lot more than I can control.
For now, all I feel I can do is quote:
"Love life, and life will love you back."
-Arthur Rubinstein
I had a plan today: to study, to work out, and to eat. I woke up at 8 and studied a bit but not long after, I fell asleep for two hours reading physiology notes. Waking up at 1 pm, I just decided the time spent napping replaced the time that I would have spent sweating it out. I made rice, broccoli and a vegetable burger patty from Boca's with sun-dried tomato Gouda cheese. Then studying some more, I got through a lot of what I wanted. I am so tired... I'd like to say it is a visceral pain radiating throughout my head and body. It is dull and unlocalized. It is hard to explain, except I'd much rather go to sleep than learn about signaling pathways and the anatomical structure of the kidney. I even did my laundry as a form of procrastination.
The weather gets me down when it rains. I feel pressure weighing heavily on my body, and it feels like a burden. Maybe it's the barometric pressure. Maybe it's the impending quizzes tomorrow. Maybe it's all in my head. I suppose you can't fully appreciate the sun without days like these.
---
"She read all about them: how they ate, how they bred, how they grew. It was the first live thing she understood completely--its life, its sex, its death. At Dog's Head Harbor, human beings were not that accessible. In the hospital, Jenny Fields felt she was making up for last time; she was discovering that people weren't much more mysterious, or much more attractive, than clams."
Saturday, October 23, 2010
"The most mysterious thing she had been allowed to investigate on her own, when Jenny was a child, had been the cellar and the great pottery crock which every Monday was filled with clams."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
today i woke up at 10:30 am. it was amazing to have so much sleep after a hard week. i reheated my spicy black bean burger with avocado and roasted red peppers for brunch. i helped mette clean up from the party and collected many bottles for beth's homemade beer. then i reheated the fries and bread at 350 degrees for seven minutes. they were wonderful with ketchup. i tried to study but daft punk was playing too loudly so i studied at baker berry with keith until we went to the gym. pretty productive i would say - though the couches are too comfy. i curled up in my one-sy and studied biochem and physio. will i ever fully understand? i just can never be too sure. then i was driven home, but not before we took a minute to fully appreciate the full moon.
---
"Jenny's mother sprinkled cornmeal on the clams at night, and every morning they were rinsed in fresh sea water from a long pipe that ran into the basement from the sea itself. By the weekend the clams were fat and free of sand, they were growing too big for their shells, and their great, obscene necks lolled on the salt water. Jenny would help the cook sort through them on Fridays; the dead ones did not retract their necks when touched."
today i woke up at 10:30 am. it was amazing to have so much sleep after a hard week. i reheated my spicy black bean burger with avocado and roasted red peppers for brunch. i helped mette clean up from the party and collected many bottles for beth's homemade beer. then i reheated the fries and bread at 350 degrees for seven minutes. they were wonderful with ketchup. i tried to study but daft punk was playing too loudly so i studied at baker berry with keith until we went to the gym. pretty productive i would say - though the couches are too comfy. i curled up in my one-sy and studied biochem and physio. will i ever fully understand? i just can never be too sure. then i was driven home, but not before we took a minute to fully appreciate the full moon.
---
"Jenny's mother sprinkled cornmeal on the clams at night, and every morning they were rinsed in fresh sea water from a long pipe that ran into the basement from the sea itself. By the weekend the clams were fat and free of sand, they were growing too big for their shells, and their great, obscene necks lolled on the salt water. Jenny would help the cook sort through them on Fridays; the dead ones did not retract their necks when touched."
Friday, October 22, 2010
"At Dog's Head Harbor, when Jenny had been a girl, the family members had their own baths, their own rooms, their own doors with their own mirrors on the back."
-The World According to Garp, John Irving
today classes were basically all review. i loved that people wore flannel and plaid as part of our themed fridays. i loved that jocelyn kathie are so sweet when it comes to menaka and me gobbling up the candy! today, during physio, i took a break and went to grab some more chocolate and there were donuts, chex mix, caramel candy corn AND malt cider. YUM. i grabbed some donuts that i wanted, but didn't want to eat. so as i walked back down to class, i passed by dr. j. lyons's office and offered him a donut. he asked if i wanted a protein bar. i asked him if he wanted to trade, which he did and i was so happy for the rest of the day. his piercing blue eyes and big eyebrows make lab worthwhile haha.
beth and i shared her chocolate covered sunflower seeds and then the chex mix/candy corn i got. then i went to the hae review, and then studied physio and then went to the gym. keith, paul and i studied a bit of inguinal canal with aaron!! afterward, we got dinner at molly's. SO GOOD and it was in such good company.
now there is a party going downstairs. i would really rather be there but i've been so tired...
out comes the ear plugs...
---
"In the hospital, privacy was not sacred; nothing was a secret; if you wanted a mirror, you had to ask a nurse."
today classes were basically all review. i loved that people wore flannel and plaid as part of our themed fridays. i loved that jocelyn kathie are so sweet when it comes to menaka and me gobbling up the candy! today, during physio, i took a break and went to grab some more chocolate and there were donuts, chex mix, caramel candy corn AND malt cider. YUM. i grabbed some donuts that i wanted, but didn't want to eat. so as i walked back down to class, i passed by dr. j. lyons's office and offered him a donut. he asked if i wanted a protein bar. i asked him if he wanted to trade, which he did and i was so happy for the rest of the day. his piercing blue eyes and big eyebrows make lab worthwhile haha.
beth and i shared her chocolate covered sunflower seeds and then the chex mix/candy corn i got. then i went to the hae review, and then studied physio and then went to the gym. keith, paul and i studied a bit of inguinal canal with aaron!! afterward, we got dinner at molly's. SO GOOD and it was in such good company.
now there is a party going downstairs. i would really rather be there but i've been so tired...
out comes the ear plugs...
---
"In the hospital, privacy was not sacred; nothing was a secret; if you wanted a mirror, you had to ask a nurse."
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